Filipina girlfriend

girlfriend-filipina-004Girlfriend from the Philippines- observations only – Filipina girlfriend

Filipinas can be some of the sweetest flowers on earth but if you make one angry there is no pit bull alive that can protect you.

They can be the kindest loving partner you will ever find or can become your worst nightmare. This probably holds true with all girls but I am going to try my put a few tips here for guys that have not yet been to the Philippines and are planning to try to meet a Filipina.

buying shoes – youtube video of small town shoe store in the Philippines

filipina-gfr-001.jpg First lets take a look at the chat rooms on the internet. My feeling is that this is not the way to go. There is too much room for false impressions and total lies in these chat rooms (from both parties).

Some girls work these chat rooms for a living, making a living on gullible guys that send them money. There have been cases where some of these “Filipinas” that are in fact big African men from Nigeria.

There are many Filipinas that are diligently working the internet angle to score a foreigner that will get them out of their situation. Maybe they have a relationship or marriage that went bad and just want a way to support their kids.

Walking around Cebu City at Night – lots of activity on the streets of Cebu City at night – this is the very busy Colon district

Some are single and ambitious and are looking for a Filipino boyfriend or a foreigner and love the mystique of searching online. There are success stories out there and many girls love it. For guys into chatting it’s a way to introduce yourself to potential mates.

Filipina Girlfriend at Napsan Beach Palawan

I have met a few men that met their partner on line before coming to the Philippines. They got married here, built a fine house and business, made a few babies, then things went pear shaped and they split up and the wife got everything.

In the Philippines your holdings must be in a Philippine national’s name because a foreigner can not legally own a business or property. The foreigner must put up the money and find some local willing to put the real estate in their name where they have all the rights to sell, lease or whatever they choose to do with it. It seems rather risky to me.

Cebu Immigration – getting visa extensions is a constant hassle

There are ways around it, by forming a corporation, but usually guys that do that are into bigger money than the average Joe.

My gut feeling is that it is better to rent or lease your residence here and invest your money in countries where there is less risk and corruption. Title insurance and stuff like that do not have much teeth here. All the papers for the land you bought could well be fraudulent even if you got them personally from the land office.

Catbalogan fish market – cool video of the fish market in Catbalogan Samar

beth-friendster-0029If you just want to build your wife/girlfriend a place on her family’s land and have spare funds, why not? My advice is more for those that might not be in a financial position to take a hit or those that really plan to sink some serious cash into their project.

Another twist is the internet porn sites that are actually illegal in the Philippines but are flourishing and difficult to locate and shut down. Many are protected by the local police and politicians so only outsiders will get burnt, more as a move to cut out the competition than any morality issue.

Roble Shipping ferry Catbalogan to Cebu City – video

Some see these sites as safe ways for girls to make money rather than actually working in the bars opening themselves up to sex for money, std’s, pregnancy and creepy situations.

Some of these encounters get very personal and the two develop a relationship and get together in real life. Who knows, if it works for you, go for it.

Mc Donalds in Tacloban – youtube video of the McDonalds in Tacloban

Many guys from foreign lands come to the Philippines just for the purpose of having some fun and getting a short time girlfriend and then fall in love with a girl they met in the bar. This is much more common than one would think. Angeles City in Pampanga 3 hours north of Manila is the usually starting point.

International flights are increasing to Clark Field where Angeles City is located. It used to be a US airbase but after the Americans lost their lease it has become an international trade zone and the girlie bars remain.

Our Place Bar Cebu City – video of a local bar in Cebu

Fields Avenue, the main strip, is getting more developed with quality international hotels and an endless string of bars. Angeles used to have character but is becoming more boring in recent years in my opinion.

Angeles City is an all night party zone attracting an older crowd of retirees and a mixed bag of others. There is not much going on during the day but SM mall sprung up a few years ago and it’s a pleasant place to eat and get out of the heat and into an air conditioned environment.

McArthur Memorial – youtube video of memorial honoring the return of McArthur

Many of these girls, known as “cherry girls” are fresh in from the provinces and are not available for take out. Others often are juggling a few foreign boyfriends who send money for her and her real Filipino boyfriend to enjoy.

The tricycle drivers there are on the game too. They are very charming and convincing and have time and cultural identity on their side. Some foreign men don’t really care and are just in the Philippines for fun but others get crushed when they find out what is going on.

coin toss – kids dive for coins in the harbor

beth-friendster-0020The flip side of that coin is that a lot of these girls are genuinely looking for a life partner and will give it their everything and are equally crushed when the foreigner moves on. In either scenario the person can get hardened to giving their heart away again.

Surprisingly, there are a lot of success stories that come out of Angeles. People in general get lonely and want to have a partner in life.

Mactan Bridge – youtube video  – the Mactan Bridge connects Cebu City to Mactan where the airport is located.

beth-friendster-0002Another option to finding a mate is to just to travel around the Philippines, go to the malls, markets and talk to everyone you meet along the way. For me this is the most interesting method but not everyone has the free time on their hands to do it.

Just be aware these girls require a lot of attention and if you come up short, someone else will fill the gap. A common scenario is that the foreigner ends up supporting his “girlfriend” and her local boyfriend.

Pintuyan Sogod Bay – youtube video – southern Leyte looking for whalesharks

One girl I met had a new house, compliments of her foreign boyfriend, but changed her local boyfriend every month. She really took good care of those boys and they all wore designer clothing and had new cell phones.

Motorcycle wedding – bride and groom of the way to their wedding

beth-friendster-00231It just depends on what you are looking for. This page is geared more to those looking for a steady partner rather than a party.

A lot of what you get will depend on what you are willing to put into the relationship. If you show respect and consideration to your potential girlfriend, you are off to a good start. Many of these girls really are looking for a partner to share their life with, but use caution. There is no need to jump in straight away and get married.

Huge Python and birds – one of my favorite videos

Below are a few pointers that might come in handy:

Filipina girlfriend on the beach


1) Cell phones - This is the most useful tool available to begin romance. Girls on the bus, boat, train, plane or just walking around in the mall will be easy to approach and will freely give out their number. Some guys even have a business card with their number on it that they can pass out. A Filipina will drop everything to answer a text from some one they do not even know because the curiosity is just too great.

I find phones of any type to be a nuisance but in the Philippines they are a necessary evil.

The Philippines is the texting capitol of the world (seriously)

Hinabangan Samar – video of a small town in Samar – it gives an idea what life is like in the provinces

One note of caution is that you will constantly be bugged for a “load” (pre-paid minutes) if you do give out your number.

The model of cell phone that you carry is also a status symbol. You can live in a grass shack but if you have a cell phone camera with an mp3 – u d man!!!!

note – No matter how much money you give her, she will not buy her own load (pre-paid minutes) . Just go and buy it when you pass a sari sari store.

Dumaguete noise and fruits – youtube video taken in downtown Dumaguete


2) Age – Age doesn’t seem as important in Asia as it is in the west. Cleanliness and politeness go a long ways here. If you do hook up with a local girl you will be the one to take everyone out to eat etc and of course – foot the bill.

Keep in mind that if you choose to have a girlfriend much younger than yourself you will need to have patience because she will have a different style than you do. Allow for that.

Holy Child Pensionne Bato Leyte – pension house in Bato

If she is a big party girl it will probably not work out.

(If you are just out for the party, don’t lead the girl on because there are plenty of party girls available.)

It is a good idea to meet the family of the girl that you are going out with if you are serious about her.

Sometimes this might involve making a trip to the province (in the outback) but it can be an enjoyable and fun experience.

Be sure bring along some food for everyone. You don’t want to be a burden to the family.

Cagsawa Ruins Mayon – famous ruins from Mt Mayon eruption

lechon baboy – roast pig by the kilo or whole. If you want to make a splash buy a whole pig and pay someone to roast it. (3,000 to 4,000 pesos depending on size)
noddle packs – they come 40 or 80 to the box
coffee – they aren’t big coffee drinkers, but you might be!
oranges – ponkan – in season 4 to 5 pesos each in Cebu City
hard mangos – by the kilo
cooking oil
flashlight batteries

Sangcianko Street – walking down the street in Cebu City

If you are getting serious about the relationship
mp3 player
cell phone for mom
shirts for the brothers and sisters
electric fan

NOTE – The importance of rice can not be overstated. Meat, potatos, lechon, fish, or anything else does not count as food if theye is no rice.


philippines-limasawa-003.jpg 3) Friendster

Almost all Filipinas have a friendster page. It’s worth setting one up. Update – many Filipinas switched to facebook now. farebook, farmville, and farmtown are huge favorites


4) Yahoo web cam

These things drive me nuts but the Filipinas are passionate about them. If you are into it these are a great idea.


5) About being social…

a) In Asia and the Philippines superficial things can be very important in establishing one’s social standing.

As mentioned above – cell phone model is crucial if you play that game.

Crown Regency Tower changing color – different video

b) Where you stay. Do you need an expensive 3 star place. (This one always gives me a chuckle because many of these girls come from shacks in the province and try to make a big impression by staying at a 50 to 75 USD night place with their “boyfriend”. I don’t play that game because I am frugal, or a “Cheap Charlie”, and have no intention on keeping up a lifestyle that I don’t care for. Do what is right for you.

If you are only here for 3 or 4 weeks why not spend 50 dollars a night. For me I can take that 1,500 a month and rent a great place for a year.

Leyte to Bohol Ferry – traveling by ferry

After you have been here for a while you start to think in pesos and your money goes a long way.

It is possible to throw money around and be the hero if that is your style, but once you start doing that the family will expect you to come to the rescue whenever a minor “emergency” occurs.

c) Mode of transport – Most new arrivals will not have their own vehicle because it takes time to register them and get a license.

V-hires or rented private vans will impress the family. Taxis are another way to go and still preserve your status. Jeepneys and buses are for the masses.

I like riding on the roofs of those jeepneys. caution- in the cities beware of pickpockets and specialists with slitting your pockets and bum bag with a razor and removing the contents. They are good and might get you even if you are street smart. The thieves work in teams and it can get very crowded on those jeepneys!

d) Clothes – Brand names show that you are indeed “cool”.

e) Gold jewelery – Don’t bother with anything else. Gold is huge (but expensive).

f) Buying or building a house – As mentioned above – don’t invest more than you can afford to loose.

My only suggestion is to look around a bit before leaping! Just keep in mind that even if you are in the right, legally, the wheels of justice turn slowly here and can be slowed down even more if your adversary is willing to spend a little cash.


6) Allow for moodiness

Probably women worldwide get moody, but I think Filipinas can go to extremes. Maybe your girl won’t talk to you or is very upset about something you did. If you ask what the problem is she will just say “Nothing!”

I guarantee that response.

These girls can put up with an amazing amount of discomfort or just plain pain if they have an objective. For example a friend of my girlfriend wanted to go home in the province 59 kilometers one way in very harsh conditions. She sat on the steel extension on the back of my bike for 6 hours without complaining. (I had 3 passengers)

She had to be sore. I was.

4 times they had to get off and walk while I climbed some very rough steep road.

I had a good time and so did they without complaining. It might not have been so smooth if we were planning to visit a friend of mine!


7) Music – Filipinas are music lovers. Make sure she has music, especially in places where there is no signal for the cell phone.
Trust me!


8. Sing Karaoke – even if you suck! No one cares, just make up for poor quality with volume and every one will praise you. You might even get addicted to singing and start hogging the mike!


9) Avoid Red Horse – That is a local beer that packs a punch. I don’t know the alcohol content but it has a reputation for making drinkers go crazy.


10) TV – There is a chance that your girl won’t speak English well enough to watch a news program like CNN and understand what is happening. Shows like Wow Wowie and other slapstick style shows are a huge hit with the all Filipinas. Just deal with it by watching a quick news wrap up and then give her the channel changer.


11) Internet cafes – If you are in Angeles City you will see wankers checking their email for hours with their “girlfriend” patiently sitting in a chair alongside just waiting till the guy logs off.

Most of these girls know how to use the internet so I suggest paying for another terminal and letting her chat with her friends while you are busy. You will make her life miserable if you have to control every aspect of it.

They will have chat mates that are guys but that is to be expected. It doesn’t mean that they are “cheating” on you. It could go that way if you don’t show her enough attention but you can’t spend every waking moment holding your girl on a leash like a dog because no one will be happy. (At least that’s not my style but I have lost quite a few girlfriends along the way – I shouldn’t even be writing dating tips.)


12) Menstration – These girls are not shy about talking about their “mens” and it will often be used as a reason not to do some things. I am not talking about sex here but just normal day to day activities that don’t seem like would be a problem. Out in the provinces they have some superstitions that can seem bizarre, but if you are brought up with these ideas they seem factual enough.


13) Filipina girls are sentimental

Little things go a long way. Stuffed teddy bears and chocolates are importand gifts to show that she is always on your mind.

Don’t forget birthdays and anniversaries!


14) Taking her Home!

Ok you found her and she is coming home with you to the good old USA, Down Under, or some place in Europe. I have never done this but imagine that the girl will get very lonely if she doesn’t have a group of friends that she can be with. I think that it will go downhill if she just hangs around with bargirls from back home.

There was a commercial pilot that married a real cutie that he found in Angeles City. She was a delight to the heart and eyes but when he got her “home” she had no friends to be with and spent a lot of time eating and watching tv. She looked like a different girl in less than a year. I don’t know how it turned out.

The Filipinas grew up in a very social environment. Unlike in the west, where individualism is encouraged, they are a group oriented society.

They usually do not enjoy doing things on their own and it will take the westerner a while to get used to that style. Have a look at friendster – most of the shots are group photos, rarely are there landscape or scenery pics.

Legal hassles in bringing your Filipina girlfriend or wife home.

This is going to take a bit of work and will probably not be resolved with one trip to the embassy. Be prepared to do a lot of paperwork and face a lot of frustration.

Whaleshark Watching in Donsol – youtube video – whatching the whalesharks in Donsol is high on my list of things to do – I go every year


beth-friendster-0034True Filipina girlfriend stories

Though some of the stories will appear to be fiction, I am quite certain they are very close to the truth except for the names.

Case #1

From Cebu – There was a young Filipina in her prime, like a flower, so sweet and tender and lovely. She was a delight to the heart and soul.

She fell deeply in love with a local boy. Her family disapproved because she was a hot commodity and they felt she could easily snare a wealthy foreigner and get the entire family on the gravy train.

The young man had no education or any real prospects other than driving people around on his tricycle but he was sharp and really loved that girl. He would sneak over to her house to talk and flirt until one day he was shot in the back and died on the spot.

Her father was said to be the instigator that paid the fellow from Negros to kill that young man because he couldn’t stand the idea that she didn’t want a foreigner (with a lot of money).

The case is still in court.

I know the young man’s cousin quite well. It is a story with a sad ending.


Case #2

There was a fellow from a western country that met his betrothed on the internet.

They were to be soul mates in the business he had planned.

It struck me that she dressed rather unusually for a common country girl. She was hot and had style and could dance beautifully. Her pants always hung low so you could see the top of her panties.

Seductive, yes, but most Filipinas are very conservative about the way they look in public. To me that was clue number one that something was odd.

The money that he had sent her to remodel the house was well spent and the place looked good but the old boy wasn’t allowed to stay there. There had been a recent conversion to Islam by the delightful young ladies “brother” and he disapproved.

Supposedly the “husband” was a drug addict and could no longer be contacted.

This seemed like a common script to me and someone suggested that she might still have a husband or two. In fact my own little darling was shown a picture of the father to at least one of her several children.

I got to thinking that that the recently converted brother might well be the husband and just didn’t want the wife’s boyfriend at the house. He didn’t mind the extra income but perhaps he wanted the house to himself.

Often the real “husband” can not be located and as long as the paper work never finalized a proper wedding a singleness paper can be provided for future marriage purposes. It’s not really all that complicated.

The westerner had a shake program too so I chose to remain on the sidelines. I try not to get involved with things that do not concern me. It seemed that he had her conned into believing that he was a major player.

Whatever – it goes both ways – especially where the internet is concerned. False impressions and outright lies are common from both parties.

It still remains to be seen how this one ends up.

Case #3

This is the story of another internet love connection that proved to be rather costly in the end.

A retired fellow met his true love on the internet. As with most ,the betrothed had several children with different fathers already but she was just looking for a foreigner that loved her. “Filipino men are no good” was part of her script too.

A lot of this bs (bula bula) seems to follow a set pattern.

“Wally” was a player and enjoyed construction, so he decided to build her a 5 bedroom house with 3 cr’s (comfort rooms – bathrooms) in a nice suburb of Cebu.

They had a child and sealed the pact.

Wally got a bit bored and decided to build a resort.

Wally did have a weakness for women and his darling became aware of the indiscretion. She went on the warpath and devotes every minute of every day trying to make Wally miserable.

A Filipina that has been wronged is a dangerous animal – YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Anyway she had the papers for the properties in her personal safe for safekeeping. BUT we all hear that the Philippines is so dangerous and sure enough someone broke in and stole all the paperwork.

Somehow when the replacement papers were issued, Wally’s name did not appear on anything. Perhaps Mrs Wally had a cousin in the land office or something. Just be aware that this sort of thing is easy to do in this country. Just because there is a piece of paper, it doesn’t mean anything.

Read my page about investing in the Philippines.

Using a well planned skit and a connection in the police deptartment,Mrs Wally was able to get a restraining order on Wally. He was not permitted to see his kid or come within 100 meters of the property.

Almost weekly there is a new complaint filed with the police dept.

She has taken over the pension that Wally gets somehow.

Wally seems content to move on with his life but it will be interesting to see how this one turns out. He really does care for the kid and wants to have a financial future for the little guy. It looks like Mrs. Wally will get all the benefits however.

Case #4

Big Jimbo

This is a tale of true love that took a while to develop. Big Jimbo actually met his wife while she was working in California.

She was an older girl and Jimbo was in his 60′s. He had been married 4 times already and just married the girl to help her stay in the US and work. She was a clever woman and they set up care facilities for the elderly.

Jimbo was a player and handled the construction and realestate. They made a team. She had a big web of connections with Filipinas in the health care field and together they were very successful in their endevor.

This guy got stuff done fast in the Philippines too. He put up nice houses quickly and got the kids to run a multi-cab business.

Big Jimbo and Mrs Jimbo were content to spend countless hours talking and playing cards together and over the years they built a strong loving relationshp.

Sadly Mrs. Jimbo developed a serious case of cancer that did not look curable.

Big Jimbo told me that he spent the finest years of his life with that woman.

Case # 5

There was a young las from one of the small islands in Maqueda Bay that went to mine for gold in the girlie bars up north near Clark Field.

She was a sweet young thing and became close to a nice Sugar Daddy that decided to spring for a nice house in her home province so that she could get out of the bar.

It was a nice place and she lived happily everafter with a new Filipino boyfriend every month.

These boys always had nice new clothes and the latest cell phone.

She shared her Sugar Daddy’s generous spirit.

True story.

Filipina Girlfriend

Sep 6, 2008

102 responses to “Filipina girlfriend”

  1. Your case stories are hilarious! I think the key to finding a good, solid, filipina is to avoid the island of Luzon altogether!!!!

    Great stuff, and you have to wonder about the dummies who become dummies so extensively.

  2. dutchpicle,

    I’m Silk Spectre II, a pure filipina woman…why do you feel that you have to insult people so strongly? Do you have some pent up feelings against pure-bred Filipinas? Did you have a bad encounter with one and have sworn off them for life or something? WE are kindhearted, shows respect to both young and old, WE laughs, WE cries, WE triumphs, WE fails, but WE will always stand up, and say I’m a Filipina. I’m proud of where I came from, I’m proud of my country, I’m proud of being a Pinay, I’m proud to be a Filipino. Maybe you only knw filipinas from the bar ..thats why they always ask for money..Try to explore PHILIPPINES , YOU will find a lot of EDUCATED filipinas,
    Who is she???? An individual with much to offer. Desired for her beauty that is reflected in her character as a person, not as a governmental pawn for political agendas. If you ask her what her agenda may be and you don’t agree, give her respect, give her free will and give her the ability to choose for herself as long as she is not harming others. She may be many things to many people, but let her decide who she wants to be. She is Filipino, a lady from the Philippines that is as proud as any woman from any country whom endearingly is known to most of us as a Filipina Lady. If insulting is the way a country will brand itself as `First World,´ then I say that I´m glad Philippines is third world because we are accorded there the basic dignity befitting a human being.

  3. hi dutchpickle! i am a filipino guy and am deeply ‘in love’ with a beautiful, down-to-earth filipina *STARS in my eyes*** i want to tell you to please not generalize all the filipina women. you are right with some of your views, but not all of them are true. i read some of your topics about the philippines, and yes there are a lot of good traits for the filipina women.

    and what i think is that all the stuff you wrote in this blog is mostly about the 3rd world asian women, and not just filipinas. am i right??


    Someone actually forward me the link to your blog and told me to read it. I found the most outrageous things a Foreigner could say about a FILIPINA.

    For one, You said it yourself that hooking up or finding love in the internet is all FAKE and in short BULLSHIT.
    For those Filipina’s who have fooled, lied or played with a Foreigner, those are the people who want to try get a life and have no education at all.
    You don’t have to generalized that all Filipinas are like what you said.
    As you said “Many guys from foreign lands come to the Philippines just for the purpose of having some fun and getting a short time girlfriend”—You think Filos are Bad!! You just mentioned the one of the top reasons why there are a lot of guys like you come to the Philippines. Filipinos are known to be very hospitable, accommodating, respectful, and have good family ties. When it comes to family they are always first.
    Unlike some countries when their parents get old the leave them in a retirement home. Filipinos don’t do that, they take good care of there parents until they DIE! Haven’t you notice who are those people taking care of those old people, most care givers are FILIPINOS. Most nurses around the world are FILIPINOS. And for every Filipino who is working abroad, they are striving hard to make something of themselves. Not all FILIPINOS have the same intentions…same goes as FOREIGNERS. Not everyone is the same. You must be one of those idiots who fell into a trap of a nasty Filipina.
    Your blog is telling people how awful a place the Philippines is. In Fact the Philippines is one of the nicest place to go to. You left out the part on how nice the beaches are, how lovely places are and how good the food is.
    I will not say that your blog is wrong some are true and some are just overly exaggerated. You should not generalize every Filipina you meet, you’ll be amazed on how many Gorgeous, Witty and Outspoken girls there are.
    The Philippines may be a 3rd world country but i can assure you that they have a lot of other things to offer and is way better than those 1st world countries.
    You better get you blog right!

  5. Dutchpickle! You know what’s funny about the whole thing? It sounds as if you’re afraid of strong-willed, intelligent women. It really doesn’t matter if she’s white, mulatto or black; in this case you’re talking about a Filipina woman who outwitted you or someone else that you knew. No matter where you go or where you end up, there will always be a chance that you will meet someone who is up to no good and this is a fact of life. Come to think of it, I actually consider you or whoever got conned a stupid fool. If you’re looking to find “love” (as you say) in a foreign land, the odds might be in your favor but never expect it to be that easy just ’cause you’re a FOREIGNER (most of the time a.k.a. someone with money to spend).

    So you landed on a 3rd world country, it doesn’t mean you can always get your way. I know what MOST foreigners come to the Philippines for, BUT it’s a big stretch if I say that ALL foreigners have THAT in mind isn’t it? It isn’t nice to generalize because you are putting ideas into the minds of your site’s visitors of how bad the entire country is. You are essentially insulting every Filipina woman. I think it’s enough to warn the potential visitors of this country to be wary of pickpockets and frauds; you don’t have to say anything more for everyone to get the picture.

    And just so i have you know, I’ve seen and observed a lot of foreigners who think they can get away with acting rude, belittling sales representatives and waiters, basically anyone they want to really just because they’re white, have dollars or whatever foreign currency uneasily hanging out of their pockets, and speak in dollar (english).

    Case in point, I would never give up or hide being Filipino just to get ahead in life; it’s too much of a bargain, and for what? So people like you can get the satisfaction of being right when you’re actually very wrong? Get a clue, meet more respectable people (people who don’t bend over backwards for your every whim) and re-evaluate why you came here in the first place.

    And as for those who were “tricked”: serves you right, you got what you deserved!

  6. why did you delete my posts??? i thought this was about viewpoints from others who wanted to share?? -kevman

  7. crap sorry man.. i did’nt know.. “Your comment is awaiting moderation.”

  8. Dear dutchpickle,

    Interesting read with some humor and caution to those wanting to find love in Philippines, i.e. the Filipinas in general. I just want to put across my ½ cent worth of writing here and my experience with a Cebuana.

    I am not white neither am I black. I am an Asian man (not a Filipino). I knew quite a number of Filipinas through patronizing restaurants and pubs in my country while entertaining guests and foreign business delegates. These Filipinas are humans too, trying to earn a living and sent back in pesos whatever they could afford to support their families. Many men had fallen in love with these girls; some success stories while there are sobs too. Not everyone is the same and we cannot generalize. Everywhere is the same, regardless of countries and race.

    I fall in love with Mara (not her real name), a Cebuana. Mara was introduced to me through an acquaintance when she worked in my country. Mara is single, but has sister, uncles, aunties, cousins, nephews and nieces who live in the province. From day we met till to-date, she has never asked me for money to help families in the province. Mara never forced me to love her, though she cherished every moment when I was with her. Our love for each other came naturally. I understood her background and where she comes from. Nonetheless, I still love her for her maturity, intelligent, independent mind, honest and of course her beauty. She is indeed very pretty and had lots of admirers when she worked in my country then.

    Out of love, I’ve planned to provide little sum of capital for her to start a café-restaurant in the province in the vicinity of an industrial estate, so that she can self-help and engage her family members as employees. I have never been to Philippines, but probably in short period of time I will be there looking forward to visit her, discuss the business and meet the entire family in the province. I don’t want anything out of the business with the capital that I am going to provide, I just want her to be self-reliant, be her own boss and simultaneously providing jobs to some of the relatives. Since Mara’s sister and aunt can cook well, why not apply their skills to the forthcoming cafe-restaurant business!!

    You see, what I am trying to picture is what actually foreign men want? Foreign here means those men not of local Filipino. If foreigners look for some fun in Philippines, well there are many other countries you can find too. If your pocket eventually burnt because of the ‘some fun’, then please don’t blame the women of country that you visited. The men themselves wanted to be burnt for the ‘some fun’. If you choose a Filipina to be your lover and wife eventually, well it’s all about what you are looking for. Don’t always listen to unsuccessful stories, how about the many successful men who married Filipinas and doing very well in Philippines?? By the way, it is good to know both type of stories…

    The problem here is sometime foreigners think too highly of themselves when they visit country like Philippines. That should not be the case. If we respect our host, we will earn the respect in return. If foreigners are down to earth, humble and not show off the dollar around, think they will be more respected. When foreigners visited Philippines, what were their objectives… just for ‘some fun’ and short-love, well you deserved what you wanted. However, if you met the right Filipina to fall in love with, you are in good time and future, depending on your choice and your plans. There are many Filipinas who are beautiful, educated, loving and very caring. You just have to meet the right one in Philippines. Bet you, the value of culture, family bonding, spirit and love is nowhere you can find in many ladies of your own country.

    My Cebuana loves me very dearly even before I planned to provide capital for the café-restaurant business. It is true love, not commercial. Mara loves me not because of the exchange rates between my country’s currency and Philippines’ peso, as she knows I am not a rich man. Mara loves me even though she knew that I am just a simple man earning a living in my country as employee. Mara loves me for what I am and I love her too. Totally pure and sincere.. nothing to do with helping family in province or providing monthly allowance, she has never asked me any money for food and expenses. If I’ve planned to help her setting up the business in Cebu, it is purely love, nothing else. Mara herself was surprised when we talked about it few months back.

    Morale of the story is, what exactly you want when you visit Philippines. Blame yourself if you are just there hanging around pubs looking for ‘some fun’ and short quick love. If your pocket burnt hanging around pubs, and your love life died sooner than you thought – then your objective of visiting Philippines achieved as per your desire. That goes the same if you visit other countries too, not just Philippines.

    Well, that wasn’t my objective when I first met my pretty, intelligent, caring, loving and honest Cebuana whom I love now.

    Thank you for reading my ½ cent write-up.
    Everyone has the right of his/her own perception.

    Good day!
    22 Apr 2009

  9. Thank you dear dutchpickle. You have a great website.

    I’ve an itinerary to visit Cebu, Cagayan De Oro, and Tagoloan Misamis Oriental in May 2009. Thus, browsing the net to find out more about Philippines in general. Wa lah… I found your site via google search engine. Fantastic page you have here. Very detail overview of Philippines, people, culture, transport, food, shopping mall, attire, places of interest, accommodation and etc. You name it, and I can get them here. It’s certainly great insight information for people like me whom have not been to Philippines. Salamat kaayo for all the information.

    You have done a great job dutchpickle, sir. Excellent!!!

    Well done for what you have done for this site.

    Maayong gabii
    Warmest regards,
    23 Apr 2009, 9.45pm

  10. It’s sad how, after all your experience of living in this country, you obviously have not met a single educated, independent, middle-class Filipina. It’s also disgusting how your piece distorts the exquisite mosaic that is the Filipina into an ugly mug of ignorance and destitution.

    How dare you?

    Incredibly remarkable insights such as “…Shows like Wow Wowie and other slapstick style shows are a huge hit with the all Filipinas. Just deal with it by watching a quick news wrap up and then give her the channel changer…” and “…Girls on the bus, boat, train, plane or just walking around in the mall will be easy to approach and will freely give out their number…”, among many others, only show how you’ve already stereotyped a people you barely know.

    I’m a Filipina. I watch CNN. I hate Wowowee.

    Your “observations only” of Filipinas mask subtle condescension. You can’t fool me. So please pry your mind open and go re-educate yourself.

  11. “It’s sad how, after all your experience of living in this country, you obviously have not met a single educated, independent, middle-class Filipina. It’s also disgusting how your piece distorts the exquisite mosaic that is the Filipina into an ugly mug of ignorance and destitution.

    How dare you?”

    I agree. I’m Filipina as well, middle-class, well-traveled and educated, and can’t help but be disgusted by the generalizations here, or the locations that are listed to “meet girls”. Pages like this do nothing but paint a horrible picture of us, drawing men hungry for subservient, lesser-educated Asian girls to this country – precisely the kind of men that most Filipinas worth their salt want to avoid and the gold-digging bottom-feeders (that exist in every culture, anyway) want to sink their claws into for that elusive green card. As with anything in life, you reap what you sow. Why not visit a nice (not sleazy) bar and meet singles like most respectable Filipinos do?

    FYI Wow Wowie is regarded as degrading and sexist by a good many Filipinos. There’s even a Facebook group devoted to just that.


  13. I am financial stable man, from American. I am handsome, and good looking man. I would like to search my long term relationship women from Philliphina. If you interested with me, please send your email and make the best schedule that we can chat in yahoo messenger.
    My email: (laramee.raymond @

  14. There are no doubt scam artists on both sides of an internet equation. Recently, when I signed up for a month’s membership on, I was instantly inundated by literally hundreds of emails, winks, IM’s and such from girls as young as 19, all looking for “A man from 18 – 80″… meaning, basically, “any warm body will do”.

    But I learned quickly that it wasn’t about warm bodies at all… but about fat wallets. I met one woman who apparently had some degree of a conscience because after she led me out to Yahoo Messenger where she could more freely operate her trade, after some time and discussion, she admitted that those we not her photos… and that trying to get money from westerners was her “job” via this website. Yeah… I know… her job was emotional extortion… essentially trying to snag the cost of a webcam or whatever else she could pry loose from a guy in order to feed her family.

    After we talked a while, she confessed all this to me because she said I seemed genuine and also, apparently, pretty clueless about the online dating environment and the accompanying pitfalls. She told me that “many” but not all women on the site were actively employed on one or more online dating websites in the same way she was. It was this odd window into the back room of this seedy business of using beauty and the promise of true love to swindle westerners (and Europeans too, I suppose) out of amounts of money that they’d probably never miss… you know… since we’re all rich. :\

    So… I actually do have a point… and the point is this: I think there are some absolutely genuine Filipinas looking to meet an American guy for legitimate and honest reasons… but that discerning them from the wealth of poverty-motivated scam artists is like finding a needle in a haystack. I’ve already found a girl that *seems* genuine, is beautiful, smart and interested in pursuing the beginnings of a relationship… but, for myself and others following in my footsteps, I’d welcome advice on how to tell the difference between the two. My experience has to do with meeting girls online – but I’m sure that any advice would apply to meeting in person as well. Does anyone have any advice to offer to us “stupid Americans” about how to find true love in the online age without getting scammed along the way?

    Thanks for the thought-provoking site and commentary, DP. Nice work.

  15. Hello dutchpickle,

    Hope you wouldn’t mind me commenting a little here and briefly described my experience during my two visits to Philippines.

    Hello nouveau,

    I appreciate your experience and its common in cyberworld, not specific to Philippines alone. It happens in many countries. There are scammers everywhere, and I pity the genuine ones, as those with bad experience might thought the genuine ones are scammers too. Frankly, its difficult to tell the difference.

    Wisely thinking, please look and re-look at online photos of the beautiful ones. If they are that pretty, do you think they would have ‘advertised’ themselves on the website. I believe if they are blessed with good looks, they would have many suitors by now and Philippines have many stable income and well-to-do men to marry them and have families. If they want to pursue life with foreigners, they could have gone through recommendations via reliable matchmaking agencies, relatives and friends, meet-in-person, meet-the-eye, and decide the chemistry. Why risk going online?? Being poor is not a good reason but scammers make it the reason for them to register and be part of whatever you called it. Pardon me if I say something wrong here.

    In May and July 2009, I visited Cebu and provinces in Mindanao. What I witnessed were very much opposite of what I heard before I visited Philippines. To see is to believe. I have wonderful and everlasting memories of love and respect for the many people I met in Cebu, Cagayan De Oro, Tagoloan Misamis Oriental and Villanueva Misamis Oriental. I even have this brotherly-love feeling for the taxi driver who drove me around in Cayagan De Oro, whom I call ‘Kuya Boy’. I didn’t show-off my wealth, I didn’t show-off that I can afford anything, but yet these people give me their love and respect. Never believe any sad stories online and asking for money. You have to see with your own eyes that Filipinas are not beggars.

    If foreigners are serious about relationships with Filipinas or women from any other countries, you have to meet the people in-person. NOT online unless reliable source such as registered matchmaking agencies with certified company registration numbers, addresses and telephone numbers of registered owners of such agencies. Perhaps, you may want to do a ‘google search’ on this.

    Pardon me if I’m wrong with my thought.

    4 Aug 2009

  16. I have a question for you. I too met a girl in a girlie bar and after talking with her for hours decided that I would meet with her when she wasn’t working. We went to the movies and talked again for hours on end. She told me some things about her peronal life (boyfriend, parents, school etc…) and seemed very sincere. I do not like bar fining girls because I feel that it is a debasing act not only for the girl but for me as well, so I would only go to the bar and buy ladies drinks which were few and far between because she would just sit and talk with me for hours. We met one last time away from her work and after talking for a good length of time things got hot and heavy and we ended up having sex. I had to leave that night so I got her email address and told her I would write. We have been in communication since then and I have talked to her at length about us. Since I am currently married she has stated, “We can’t be something more than just friends.”. She doesn’t want to be part of my life with my wife and kids because she doesn’t want to break up our family. But on the other hand she also stated, “I am not trying to say that I don’t like or want you, but this is not what I like.” She wants a serious relationship. Seems legit to me. I wouldn’t want to be second place in a relationship either. The one x-factor in this is that my wife is seeking seperation so I am not sure where this is going to end up. She is half my age, has probably been working at the bar for who knows how long. I am not sure whether I want to completely trust her yet or not. She tells me that she is 100% upfront about everything and I really have no reason not to believe her. I haven’t given her any money and she hasn’t asked for any yet either. I have told her maybe I should just walk away and she has replied, “You don’t have to walk away, we just need to take it easy.”. So I ask you, what do you think about this? Does it seem like something worth pursuing or has this been pretty standard for girls working a foreigner for “sponsorship” etc… Like I said I have not sent her money and she hasn’t asked for any either.

  17. Hi Dp

    Can you give some more advice on dating a Filipina… ie what to expect from a Westerner’s perspective,

    eg you mentioned Philipino’s are a group orientated society compared to western society more individual based.. which is interesting.

    You also mention about mobile phones, my girl is on her mobile phone quite a lot, i have now asked her to check and respond to her phone every 2-3 hours rather than constantly checking and responding… I turn my phone on silent when i’m with her as a courtesy, i’m hoping asking her to check it every 2-3 hours is a good compromise..

    i understand her group of friends is very important etc… what other insight can you provide from a westerner’s perspective… so i can see things from her perspective..

    I also think my girl can be quite moody at times, for reasons unknown…

    With regards

  18. Well, this is quiet a good spot for those individual wanting to know more about filipina women. You see, Filipinas are best of everything. Filipinas are excellent care-givers(am not talking about the job). Resilient – we are not one to break down easily because we are supportive of each other. Family 1st – there are a lot of successful Filipinas worldwide. Some known for their accomplishments and there are those who are making waves but haven’t reached the news, but at the end of the day, Pinays know that family comes first and I dont believe that its because we’re in poverty that makes us practically do anything to get out in this country. You see everyone of us has its own reasons why.

  19. Hey dp, wow what can i say maybe not wow but wowoweee, heheheh. I never met a Philippino educated or otherwise that didnot love that program. I never met one that watched the news and that is for sure.I tell a lie i did once. I love this country but it sure has its drawbacks ( like most countries) and the major one is that its ok for johnny foriegner to come here and spend his HARD earned pension and life saving but NO WAY is johnny foriegner ever ever going to own anything here. When the government ( that alone is a joke) says o sorry no johnny foriegner can own more than 40% of HIS OR HER business. O no johnny foriegner just has to pay for it all and sign it over to some Philippio. i got a one word answer to that . excuse the language but bollocks. as far as the guy or girl who said that most the nurses in the world are Philinppo !!!!!!!!! what planet do they come from. Even Philippino people would rather go to another country for an operation i am dam sure. Philippino have many many great attributes like has been said. hospitality second to none. Freindliness ( but hidden agenders) they are absoluty awesome at recycling. So please all you Philippino readers dont get on the high horse and all upperty. Johhny foriegner loves this country. BUT BUT BUT …………….

  20. Hi dp. just a couple a things about what the lady said about nurses. There are around 180,000 Filipna nurses working around the world and i am very sorry to burst her bubble but there are 11 million nurses total . so unless my maths are not so good i reckon your calculation was wrong lady. I will agree with u on some points like Filipina make great nurses and caregivers. The problem is when a caregiver from Philippines goes to work abroad they are pretty underqualified in some cases as people here do a cut price deal for a certification. They do a few weeks study and wam bam heres ur papers. In the UK it takes many years to get full qualification as there are so many modules to complete. I am not saying all caregivers do this but some do. The other point was about the old people here not being put into old folks homes> heheheh u say they don’t do that here. Many be thats because A. u don’t have old folks homes and B. most people could not afford it anyways. Saying that i agree that here the family is more important than in the west. The so called first world countries could take a lots from this wonderful country and learn from it. But i am sorry to say that due to your government and not us foreigners voicing our opinions the majority of people think that the Philippines is not a safe place to travel and also its a great place to get ripped off due to the corruption. Thank your government for giving people this picture not us the expat. We love this country and thats why we live here. But if we wish to complain about it well thats our choice as its called freedom of speech. The lady who spoke about bad manners wow. U guys have never heard of queing. U bust in to a store and shout what u want and there maybe 3 people infront of u. U always want to be first on a plane and first off. U guys are in the aisles before the plane has landed. U guys sit poking the seat in front of u with no respect for the person sitting in the seat. When someone is talikng u just butt in with no ‘ excuse me’ so please dont even go there with manners. I have opened so many doors here for people and they dont even grunt .But on the other hand Philippino are very well mannered. they dont walk between people who are talking and they dont walk infront of the TV. The always offer food to visitors They can be so well mannered its puts other nations to shame BUT BUT BUT. You gotta love the Philippines.

  21. Hi everyone,

    Please check out my multiply site to read my blog entry. Don’t hesitate to comment. I would really love to hear what you guys have to say.

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  22. Hi!

    I just come across this page but got interest here. I read some stories and they are close to reality.

    Hope to be more updated here.

    By the way, I am a filipina who had been looking for true love but had fallen. I know how other filipina feels and I also hear stories from foreign men.

    Have a great day everyone!

  23. Hi there, dutchpickle! Indeed,you’re so lucky you did found the waray girl of your life. Waray are the best!(heheh! love my own). I too is a waray from the province of Eastern Samar and is now an expatriate of Manila. Working for almost 4years in a BPO company. Youre absolutely right, character doesnt depend on educational attainment. It’s how a person were raised by the people who happen to be the parents. Talking about love/personal relationship, we people should not based attraction on educational attainment or how much money is he/she earning in a month instead we should look at the heart and intention of the person thats what really matters and nothing else. Life has its own twirls and turns and how we react to its consequences are what we called learning that is connected to living and loving. Standard education is just to enrich what we already have but in the end it is still the heart that decides the most crucial part of living. Hope to hear from other readers. :-) Cheers!

  24. very interesting to read your comments. I wana share mine experience. I am a nature lower. Like forest, jungle, last year I was in Phills I climbed (with my gf of course) Mont Apo. The experience with my gf are really unique. She behave in the forest like a monkey, knowing where to go, how to climb the rock, showing eatable fruits. We went trough inside Camiguin and in the end we met some group of tourist with a Filipino guide. But I had no guide except my gf. I am proud of here, “she is a mother of all guides”. She spend a year in here young age with some rebel group and it is apparent from her behavior that it is true. (she don’t like speak about that anymore ..) So I wounder only why she does not work yet in some travel agency to guide rich tourist trough the forest…

  25. I just cant believe the stupidity of so many men getting taken. I know of one guy who met a bar girl and within 45 minutes at the bar asked her to marry him. They are married and hes here in the states and she calls him bitching for more money all the time. Ive known my Filipina Fiance for 16 months visited PI twice shes in the province and she has never asked me for a dime. Her family feeds me well and ask for nothing only that i be a good husband to their daughter and take care of her and visit from time to time. Im astonished of all the terrible stories i hear are these guys looking for bad girls or what?

  26. Dear dutchpickle,

    I shot my praises a little too soon in this page, in Apr & Aug 2009. I got shot by a Cebuana! Thought it would not happen to me…but.. I’ve been shot. In my posting of Apr 2009, I met her in person, not online. I visited her and her entire family twice in May & Jul 2009. I’m not shy to share my experience being cheated. This is real and I want people to know that regardless online or known-in-person, I’ve been cheated by a Cebuana. I’m fortunate having friends in Cebu who care and helped me and my private detectives. Its painful but its over on 8 Dec 2009. I don’t have to write the full story here… too long.

    Dutchpickle sir, I invite you and all visitors of this page to visit my friendster’s URL. When you are there, pls click the Album “Just 4 U”…. everything is there. I’ve very few friends in friendster, thus no prizes for guessing which Cebuana cheated me, disguising love for my money.

    Sad episode of my life

  27. Hi dutchpickle, sir

    Thank you for your comforting words.

    I’ve planned to setup an office in Jan 2010 for her to run the business for me there. We are in the 1st stage of building the ground floor of our house in Villanueva, pending me giving another P350k to complete the house with interior decor and furniture. Its a 2-storey house, land bought next to her nanay’s, manong’s & manang’s house. I also planned to expand the sari-sari store for her sister in Tagoloan Misamis Orienetal, which I setup in May 2009 (my 1st visit there). I pumped-in more capital during my 2nd visit in July 2009. I’ve planned to make it ‘bigger’ perhaps a grocery retail shop in Jan 2010 for her sister to run the business and be self-dependent. That should be the same time I planned to setup business office in Cebu.

    Fortunately I found out earlier that she has a boyfriend, sleeping in the house that I paid the rent for her monthly at Sitio Manol, Tisa, Labangon. Sometimes, she would sleep in her boyfriend’s house at Singson Village, Mandaue.

    I wouldn’t mind paying couple of thousand Pesos to my private detectives and seen with my own eyes, rather than losing hundreds thousands Pesos if my planned to setup the office business and expanding grocery retail shop executed!

    Heard many such cheating stories of those meeting online. Never expect that it would happen to me since I got to know her in-person. Once beaten twice shy. Don’t know whether I will look for another Cebuana or Filipina again…

    Sorry to share my sorrow here… but this is real and very expensive emotional and material experience to go through.

    Looking forward to life without a Cheat!


  28. Hi dp,

    Thankyou for this forum, thought I would share my thoughts,

    I have search on fh “filipina hearts” to find my true love as I heard it is a catholic country and there is many God fearing catholics there, they all say that they are God fearing and they do not believe in divorce, so why do they suffer for what they want, like the story of the bike, and they will not suffer for what their boyfriend wants, which is to have sacrifices in their lives, love is not purely emotions, to want to fulfil their desires only, it is sacrifices, I believe to be God fearing means to have fear of the Lord which is to not sin and to follow ALL of the teachings of God,

    sorry but I had to mention this as this is my experiance,

    I think it has many scammers in the philippines is because is a poor country and people hear of these scams also good people mix with the wrong crowd of people, I am from England, when I am asked what nationality I am, I say I am the Adams race as we all come from the first Adam, we are all loved by God even the scammers, I just hope they change their ways.

    I have a filipino girlfriend, been with her for 18 months now, never met in person as of yet, I see her for few hours everyday on web cam,
    her friend is a friend to a policeman, I have heard
    of a story of the rape scam involving a police officer,
    which makes me feel uneasy to visit her now, as we want to book a room in a hotel with a double bed,
    if anyone has any advice I would appreciate it,

    Thankyou to read my experiances,

  29. Hi dp,

    Thankyou for your advice,

    I am concerned and think maybe you know more about the life and attidudes of the filipino culture when you say it is very possible for my internet girl to have a local boyfriend,

    at first I have noticed a wedding ring on her wedding finger on her left hand, I asked her why, she explained by saying it was a gift from her sister for when she graduated, nothing more, just a gift, also she said that it is not a wedding ring, even it looks like one to me, so I tried to research and found that many filipinos like to wear their wedding ring on their right hand,

    so my question would be, would a filipino wear a ring on their wedding finger on the left hand, even if they believe their wedding finger is on their right hand,

    also she has never asked for any money from me, until around a year into our relationship, I have sent her money twice only so far, only 70 pounds in all, also she has always worked in an internet cafe, I have met her at all hours, I have seen on web cam that she is in the cafe, also I have heard her talking in tagalog to her customers, she also has to leave her chair while she helps her customers,

    she also wants me to show her parts of my body as she has shown me on certain occassions, would she ask and do this if she was not truthful with me,

    I do really like her very much and I would very much want this to work out well,

    I have told her recently that when we are married and live here in the uk, that I could not send frequent money to her family as we have to care for our family,
    she says it is okay with this decision as I have explained in more detail, I do hope she is true with me,

    I hope you also someone from the philippines can give me any advice and let me know what they also think of this situation, sometimes we need someone elses views who knows of the culture,

    Thankyou again for this forum,

  30. Hey DP,

    Im active duty and about 3 months ago went to angeles for fun. i left with a girlfriend, and after a few weeks things developed quickly and we fell in love i am ginualy in love with her. i am 21 and she is 25. we talk on the phone every moment that we have free she has not given me any reason not to trust her the dy we met she left the bar and she was jobless for 2 months. she didnt ask me for money until it was obvious she was running out. she has now found a new at a call center and she has asked for some more money till she gets her first check. now about a week and half before she gets her check she said that her purse was stolen and she was turning in some document to her job, like her passport birth certificate ect… she is asking for another 3000 php so she can get her passport done by an agency because she dosent have time to get it done. she did call as soon as it was stolen and it was obvious that she was talking to the police. she tells me about every guy she meets and if they ask her out or not. and she dosent go out with her friends if i dont go out with my friends and that dosent happen to often. and also when she asks for money its always a very difficult thing for her to talk about she dosent exactly come out and ask for it but it does start a fight and she said that this is the last time she will ask for money. she knows i dont have a lot of money. if she is cheating on me she must never sleep becuase we talk all the time. she seem very genuine but iv never dated a filipina before and dont know how good they are act acting. what do you think? thank you for you response.

  31. I’ve been looking all over for an answer to this and this seems to be the best place to find it. I currently started speaking with a half filipina girl that lives in the U.S. We met online, but not on an asian dating site, on an “American” site like an eharmony style site. I have been talking with her for a few weeks now, and she has told me that she goes to college in the US and supports her mother and brother in the Philipines. Now then, i read that is fairly common, but my question is she wanted me to send some money to her brother for his 18th birthday and to email him to let him know it was from me. She said it was so that her family would begin to accept me and get to know me. Is this common practice for a boyfriend to send money to a family as a courtship gesture and to show that her family is important to him, or is she trying to get money from me. Since I sent the money she has asked again to help her brother buy an electronic device so that he can talk to us 3 way and learn about me, i’m a little reluctant to send anything this time, but more confused if she is just trying to work me.

  32. i don’t normally reply to things but

    i just wanted to congratulate you on a very insightful article,i am a 26 year old going out with a 19 year old in cebu, we have been going out 4 months and known each other 7 months. i have been here 6 months this time and this is almost word for word exactly what i have noticed!

  33. I love reading the blogs, most of them (I would say) really happened as what you observed…

    Now we’ll do the reverse through this simple question:

    Why “foreign women” esp. whites seldom married “Asian men” specifically Filipinos (aside from the reason of racial discrimination maybe)?

    In my opinion, it is because they are looking for security as well, and cases that you’ve presented above possibly happened also in other countries other than Asia, just unknown to your knowledge…

    Even here in Western, I heard a story that a man was abandoned by his wife because he was broke… in simple words, “no money, no honey”… Possibly the most common denominator of divorce cases in other countries… (just my analysis).

    Anyway, it would be a wake up call…

  34. Overall, I congratulate you for your effort and all those stuff posted in this site…!

    Good job…!

    Hope to see you soon, I love documentary as well…!

  35. Maupay DP

    Interesting post and I share most, if not all, of your views – not sure about giving cell phones away, but hmmm, I get what you mean…

    I have been in a relationship with a Filipina for three years now. We live in Samar, but we actually met in Cebu in 2007 after chatting online a few months. While we are young, our story most resembles Case number 4… in the sense that the outcome is “happy” in comparison to the other cases. And her family is a delight, so I am blessed that I never experienced any of the hardships above. Actually, she is the one who sent me the link to your blog.

    That said, from the people I know and the stories I have heard, your cases are pretty much bang on and a good “advance notice” to anyone coming here… I mean no disrespect, but the fact that some foreigners get royally scammed in the Philippines doesn’t require further demonstration. And saying so is not an insult to Filipinos as a whole. Filipinos are in fact an interesting and amicable bunch… I just wish I knew their language better!

    Other cases to consider :

    1- A single girl has two foreigner boyfriends who are both sending her money. Her plan is to marry one of them and move to the United States, where she intends to divorce him. True story, I feel she is an optimist.

    2- An old woman has a son who is married. She wants her daughter in law to meet a foreigner online so he will send money to them. True story, will probably develop into a case of “brothers”.

    3- A Filipina in her prime meets an older foreigner online. He sends money to build a house for his vacation. She has a Filipino boyfriend in the shadow, when the house is built, he comes out of the shadow… They now have a house payed for and built by the foreigner which they are trying to sell for 1.8 million pesos. Overpricing. True story, the house is 5 minutes walk from my place.

    4- A retiree and widower meets an older Filipina through her sister. They decide to get married, but she is still married to her Filipino husband. 10000 euros later (they said legal fees), she is still married, but in the meantime, they have built a house… at a cost of 3.5 million pesos… which is in her name… They are still together, but for how long? True story, I know the guy, but we don’t talk too often, so there might have been other developments..

    In short, like anywhere else, there is the good, the bad and the ugly. And there is A LOT of good in the Philippines, no doubt about it. And you CAN find a good relationship.

    But think about it, if you hear stories about “romantic” scams taking place in the Philippines, there might be truth to some of them… like there is probably some truth about say Iraq being a dangerous place… You know what I mean?


    Gilr meets Amboy. Amboy brought her to USA as the girl planned. She bore him two children in 3 years. She became a US citizen short time after. Divorced the Amboy with a hefty child support allowance for the 2 kids. Now she’s petitioning her bf in the Philippines to come to USA.

  37. There are many true honest filipina’s I myself have met a real gem and have been happily married for 3 years, Many girls do what they do out of desperation or a route out of poverty. Please be careful how you speak about an nation that has so many good points. Targeting filipina women like they are a comodity is an american trait and a trait of mindless morons froom around the world.

    If you truely want a filipina wife then be honest from the ontset and accept that there will be cultural difference, but do not be so arrogant to expect her to change to your culture without you embracing hers.

    Family are important to filipina’s and if you are blessed to marry one you marry the family, please think of what a diffference you will be making in the life of your girl and that of her family.

    Yes there are girls out there with B/F and lovers ready to rip you off but in my experience you can spot them a mile off.

    The difference between european woman and filipino woman is stark if you have a filipina for a wife you are treated like a lord and are second to no one in her eyes that includes the family.

    Lahat lahat European or american women cannot hold a candle to the filipina

    so now the rant is over think positively but wisely not all are greedy but all are if you find a good filipina, trustworthy and faithfull dedicated and loving to the man she chooses remember you chose her but she made that choice also.

  38. Both my Filipina wife and I read your posts, positive and negative. We agree, be aware, but let your heart be open to love, there is no other stronger feeling. Like my father said to me as a teenager, there is no better feeling than being in a great relationship with a woman or a worse feeling than being in a bad relationship with woman. Always remember, we make the decisions today that effect us tomorrow. Take responsibilty for your actions and results.

    Truly, I am a lucky man to have met my Filipina wife online. Clearly, she has been the best decision I have ever made. Along with her family, now my familly, too, who have been so loving, caring, and warm, I encourage you reading my response to follow your heart. When I have more time to expand my respone, I will give more details of my 100% support of the Philippine culture and Filipinas…

  39. You are quite a very good observer of Filipino women /people traits in general. Although a lot have to disagree with some of your observations because those who likely disagree are more on preserving their pride,which is mostly their own. Or maybe just to justify some of the seemingly bias observations. although you did have a good sense of balance in showcasing your observations.
    Those who considered themselves highly educated etc., etc and on the middle echeleon of society as per Philippine standard are the ones that mostly questioned your observations. Sometimes it’s true, Truth hurts.
    On the other hand one trait of filipinas that you probably haven’t observe is that they can be very fiercely independent and really stubborn. They can also be extremely sensitive and one wrong word used by anyone that aimed at their ego you are done for good. They can be very loyal and can forgive people a lot but once they are hurt, it takes awhile to forgive. It is an interesting read.

  40. Uh-oh, dp! You’ve just stepped into a landmine. Filipinos are overly sensitive lot mind you. They are a bunch of cry babies. Good thing you’re not a celebrity or some famous Hollywood actor or else they will require you to make a public apology. Haha!

    To the cry babies, can’t handle the truth, huh?

    I’m a Filipina and I share the same observations with Lilybeth. Those who are so eager to defend Filipinas are only yapping with bruised egos. As you saw right up there, most Filipinos are “pikon” (easily angered).

    Now I’m going to generalize both gender:

    Most Filipinos also have this misplaced patriotism. I had a conversation once with a lady in my son’s school who thought that Filipinos are the greatest thing on earth. I couldn’t believe that I put up with all that crap. They are anti-foreign. Let’s start with foreign ownership of land. Filipinos think it’s a zero-sum game. They think they are in the losing end once foreigners are allowed to own land when in fact, it would be advantageous for both parties. Foreign investment, employment, stimulated market, better infrastructure for us. Profit, revenues, savings for you guys.

    Most Filipinos have bad manners. It’s true! They will belt out tacky loud karaoke songs all night long without considering their neighbors. First hand experience here. Don’t get me started with Filipino drivers.

    A lot of Filipinos are lazy. That’s the reason why Wowowee exists. They only become hardworkers when they are exposed overseas where hardwork is highly valued.

    Filipinos are superficial and shallow. They give so much importance to social stature. They will borrow money just to buy the latest cellphone or gadget.

    Filipinos are susceptible to island-thinking. They think outside influences will tamper on their ‘sacred’ values.

    I’m Filipino but sometimes I’m fed up of being Filipino. Yes, you read that right, a minority of us Filipinos are very frustrated with our own kind. Philippine government? What a joke!

    Don’t let them discourage you dp! Keep blogging!

  41. I enjoyed this very much! Just gratifyingn! the way you handled the topic is deserving

  42. hello and thankyou for you insight on this cause i have a girlfreind there and we plan to get marreid she seems like the real deal i hope she is anyway but i know i have to be carefull we have cahtted on lline and we chat on yahoo and see each other on cam and the kids she has three wounderfull kids they call me daddy but i am caerefull cause she is still married she says only cause she dosent have the money she hasnt askeed for any mind you we have been going toghter foer a year now she has never asked for anything and she is to be my wife and well we are working on gettiing here here but its hard liie you said any more advice and her parentes aprove of me to i am going to see them in july

  43. Dutchpickle: You are a very observant individual. Do not let insults discourage your truth in your blogs. The truth hurts, but it cannot be fixed unless the individual confronts the problem. Keep on living. Your adventurous spirit is inspiring.

  44. “Filipinas can be some of the sweetest flowers on earth but if you make one angry there is no pit bull alive that can protect you.They can be the kindest loving partner you will ever find or can become your worst nightmare.”

    this is so TRUE!….. we’re kind
    but we can also kick a**.

  45. Hi Jimmy, I suggest you do a ‘lil research coz there is NO divorce here in the Philippines yet, and as far as I know there is NOT even a law yet allowing a married filipina to get married again EVEN IF she is legally separated or annuled.. goodluck though -:)

  46. Dear Dutchpickle,

    Hi! I’m searching for something in search engines when I saw your link and I read your blog. I enjoyed reading everything, (your blog and the comments). I’m a Filipina who is living in the United States and happily married with my american hubby. KUDOS to my fellow Filipina’s who tried to depend the other good hearted Pinays from the bad ones. I can relate everything. I got married to my husband here in United States more than 2 years ago. My husband had a bad experiences to other Filipinas. I can’t blame some foreigners to say something bad to some Pinays, because it is really painful and traumic if you are cheated or being swindled. No offense to other readers but the truth really hurts, but as long as you did not do anything wrong, there’s no reason to get upset or to be defensive. Before I married my husband, he’s into 2 bad relationships in these 2 girls from my country. He met the 2 of them in internet dating website. Before he came over to visit these girls, my husband was blinded by the so-called pure love and kindness. He keeps sending the first girl gifts and money of course. And he even bought her a computer only to find out after the computer reached to this girl hand, she said that there was no internet connection to their place. But since my husband was really serious to get a wife there, he kept sending surprises for her. He came and visited here in her hometown, my husband was shocked about the place she lived in. He bought the family some things like refrigerator, and etc. He was pissed when he took the girl out for shopping, the girl family goes out with them including the mother, so he said, your family & friends are not included in this shopping. Then we he came back to the states, he applied a visa for her, when the petition was approved, she told him she won’t fly to the US because she’s scared of him. So the fairy tale turned into a nightmare! After a few months, he tried his luck again, and met the 2nd one. He supported her in many ways. He moved her to a nice apartment from that lousy boarding house she lived in, bought her things, gifts, and send big amount of money 2x a month thru Western Union, ( I saw the receipts of his spending with western union). The girl wrote very nicely, speaking lots of sweet nothings, w/out telling my husband her deepest secret. They’d met in Manila, then after more than a week he goes home, filed another visa for the girl. That’s the time that my husband know that she has a love child, and siblings, which was never mentioned to their correspondence, but since he was a gentleman, he acknowledged all the informations that the US embassy sent to him. The visa has been approved, and she flew to the states, after a few days, she left the poor guy with a broken heart and not even saying goodbye. So he informed the US immigration about what happened. Few months after, a friend of mine introduced him to me via email, and we started to be good friends. He told me his bad experiences there, and I understand it. I told him to moved on. It took nearly 1 year that we decided to met. He wanted to send me money but I refused. I’m making my own living by having business and as a tourist guide of Dept. of Tourism. He came to my birthday, bought me a lot of gifts that I don’t expected. He proposed in my birthday and I said YES, and he got me a lovely expensive earring as engagement gift. (Strange right?!) He brought my papers in his departure to the states. After 1 month of application, we’re approved. The whole processed took more than 2 months because we have no legal issues. Both of us are legally singles, and both only child in our own family. After my interview I flew to America, and in 2 weeks we are official married. I respected his independence, religion and family and relatives, and he did it to my favor in return. Now he’s retired, he wants to go to the Philippines. I have to get him a Philippine Visa in order to let him stay legally, put our property in both name (mine & him). Divorce or Annulment is far from our imagination because we are inseperable. My hubby go nuts if he can’t call me 10x a day at work. If you have no Philippine visa and not a Filipino Citizen, as a foreigner, it is really risky.. chances are you will lose everything. In the Philippines. I’m fair when it comes to our conjugal rights, what’s mine is yours. In marital matters, even if you have legal separation, you are not allowed to get married unless you got your Annulment. So foreigners if your girl has this problem, you better look for another one or you are willing to help her get the annullment, because the US embassy will not give her a visa. In some cases, filipinas can get her visa approve even if he has another guy “hidden”, because they are not legally married, they are like live-in partners, and if the girl makes it to the states, goodbye Joe, and hello Pinoy!

    **To all the foreigners out there who been fooled, cheated or being a victim of the scams, don’t lost hope.. there’s a lot of good hearted filipina’s anywhere, just be careful.. use your head rather than your heart. Don’t send money to the girls, in that way, you will know how far your relationship can go. If you want to know about your girl, call the National Statistic Office and they will give you the information of your girl.. To other Filipina’s, please be nice.. don’t play other people feelings, they are human too! It’s not all about money after all..

  47. i just met a beautiful filipina, and now reading more about them, thanks for those who ve posted comments in here….well i’ve not given any money yet but signals / creation of situation is there to ask me for help…i m sort off ignoring those circumstances…….i m gonna visit her family and also her…hope things goes well for us…

  48. i would say that you hit the stereo type of any 3rd world country girl that you will meet online but it dosent mean that is the way it is probably some facts but as whit any other country the filipinas are induiduals

    i come from norway a small but very rich western country and i myself have a filipina girlfriend that comes from the province we have been together for 2 years now and i can say that she is one of the sweetest and most loveing girls i have ever mett i know that she every month send most of the money she make home for her family as she work at a porn site she has so far in these 2 years not asked me for money a single time. she has recently worked hard to get money and build a house for her family after the earthquake so i suprised her 4 months ago as an early birthday present and sendt her 200.000 pesos to build a house and buy some furnich for her house for her family to live in and i can say that even today she has never asked me for money unlike what you say in your blog abaout them always asking for more after you give them some

    i know that your intent is not bad and i get what you want to say but you should realy make some changes to your blogg it can seam rather offensive

  49. Hi DP,
    I have been reading and enjoying your blog since I ran across it a few months ago.
    I have spent most of the last three years here in the Philippines and am learning my
    way around. I am lucky enough to have met a great girlfriend who treats me like a prince. I try to reciprocate and treat her like a queen! It took a while though, with some false starts, but that is just life. You rarely meet a great partner in life, and sometimes you must interview a lot of potentials before you find a good fit.
    There seems to be a culture of foreigners looking for partners here, balanced or met by a culture of girls who are happy to meet them. This makes it possible, and much easier than in America or Europe, for sincere guys to meet enough girls to find someone who is right for them. At the same time, however, one meets many who are not the “right one”.
    There is also another culture of guys who are looking to party met by a culture of women willing to play. Usually that is motivated by money. If a guy looking sincerely for a partner is looking in the party culture, he had better be careful!

    Now on another topic, I am interested in exploring Aurora province by motorcycle, and would really like to find another biker to travel with. I have a 150cc dirt bike and want to get out into the jungle. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    Thank for the good reading!

  50. Hi everyone!

    I can’t believe most of the comment i read here are all about money issues! I’m sorry for those who have had those unfortunate experience but you can find real love and passion without deception from a lot of girls in the PH. My advice, please avoid dating sites where filipinas posts themselves for foreigner prospects. U can find a lot of loving and good-hearted filipinas in the PH, forget the dating sites. Avoid girls from Luzon, especially Manila..and other places where red zones are! (I don’t mean to generalize) Lastly, don’t give money if they ask u for money. Financially, she is not your responsibility unless she is your wife already. Her family isn’t your responsibility either. If you want to give her gifts, it’s okay, as long as you want to do it yourself. I really think that these unfortunate guys just had the wrong and really bad ones, shamefully. No decent filipina would use and hurt a guy like that or use her family and bring shame to herself and other filipinas. I can’t understand why they have to ask for money, i really find it very embarrassing. If she needs money, she can ask money from her family/relatives who are directly related to her, maybe from her friend or she can work for it..not ask money from her foreigner boyfriend. Educated, raised from a good family and with delicadeza filipina are most unlikely to cause you indecent maybe u can also have a background check of her. Anyway, I’m a filipina who just stumbled on this site and kept reading out of curiosity. Can’t help to leave a message before I leave. Peace! :)

  51. ..and anyway, not all filipinas are not like that the way it is being portrayed negatively on other posts. It must be really true but generalizing is degrading and offensive. GL

  52. You’re welcome, dp. : )

  53. Hi 2u all,
    Here my 2 centavos about finding your partner in the Philippines.
    As they say about bargirls “You can take the girl out of the bar but you can’t take the bar out of the girl” this is o so true, i had 4 of them from 1998 until 2000. Result lying, cheating, allways trouble with those kind of girls.
    You make a much better chance looking elsewhere.
    In 2001 i bought a dirth bike in Manila and moved to Mindanao, i met my wife in Surigao Del Sur in 2004. Maybe i was just lucky i met the right one, anyway we married in 2008 and are now living in Sabang Mindoro province.
    When it comes to falling in love, don’t let your heart do the thinking, use your brain for that !

    Best regards, Hyppo

  54. “Avoid girls from Luzon, especially Manila..and other places where red zones are! (I don’t mean to generalize) ” – Citadel

    Citadel, but you did generalize. But i’m guessing that you are not from Manila to even say such. Or you had a bad experience on this neck of the woods. In every society, be it in India, Thailand or even the U.S., there is always the good and the bad side. There are a lot of women in Manila who are educated, classy, financially independent that doesn’t require for her whole family to be fed too by the foreign partner, who seeks a good, loving foreign man because unfortunately, Filipino men are not the most faithful ones. I know that Filipinas developed a bad reputation for asking for money but there is another side of society in the Philippines that maybe most foreign men have never known. The tendency is to look at the bars from some provinces hoping to be the knight and shining armor of these lasses. There are always two sides of the coin boys.

  55. Hi dutchpickle, sad to say, it is a generalization already because it is all part of the Sociology of the Philippines. There was a case-study already..And it would take a Sociologist to be able to fully, undeniably explain on the why’s and the how’s but in anyway, i’m glad that i came across your site and cheers to your blogging.

  56. Hi everyone!!!

    I just want to share my experience of my lovelife.I am married with an australian guy and i really love him so much coz he is my life.We met in one of the online dating site and get to know each other well until we officialy have relation.After 6 months,he decided to come here to marry me,he got 1 and a half months of staying here and we got married.We are so happy because we love each other,even my age is half of him,it doesnt matter.And now,we already 2 years and 3 months married and we are happy,i am waiting for the spouse visa to be grant to be with him and make own family with him and looking forward to go back philippines for retirement.

    What im trying to say is not all filipinas are fake,most are real looking for right guy also to be love them forever…

    Anyway im a 20 yr old filipina girl,sorry for the grammars and have to go english school soon to develop my english…take care!!!

  57. hellow everyone, i have to say i have fallen in love with filipina girls, esp when i see them on tv, im from east africa, i have a pure and kind heart and i believe in real love, which i hope to find in filipina girl, bt i just dont know how to get one, anyone to help, im dying to have one who’s aerious, here in ive never met one, i need one to chat with and if possible start a relp.
    thank you

  58. Just wanted to put my two cents worth..maybe worth more to others. My husband and I have been married for a few decades, and have adult children. I thought we were deeply in love in our early years, but time, stress, life, children..all contributed to the erosion of our marriage. I had been unhappy for many years and had mentioned divorce to him. Nearly two years ago, when I asked him what we were doing with our lives, he said that he thought that we should divorce. I was surprised as he had always wanted to stay together..

    At that time, we essentially became separated but lived in the same house. I had not pressed him on immediate divorce because he was trying to wrap up being part of a very busy business (where he never received any income), and I didn’t want to get him all stressed about everything.

    Fast forward to Feb 2012, I find out that he had been sending money to a paypal address every month through his business checking account. I googled the name of the account because I thought it was some business site that he signed up for automatic payment but forgot to cancel the payments (he is very disorganized). I was shocked to find a profile page of a 22 year old girl on a porn chat site in the Philippines.

    When I thought that he was spending money on a live sex site, I had had it, and asked him to start working on divorce. When I looked at the possible asset
    distribution and all of the ramifications our lives would be like for our adult children and future grandchildren, I realized that we had not tried to work our problems out at all. We had a heart to heart talk about maybe looking for a new future.

    I thought that he was using the site for sex, but it turned out that he had fallen in love with the first nice, sweet thing that stroked his ego. He had been sending money to her paypal private account. It was not until after we had the discussion that we might want to look at a possible new start that I uncovered detailed chat histories and emails that he kept for their “love history”. He sent money within a few weeks of chatting with her, USD 50.00 for her to buy a new dress and USD 50.00 for her to buy her impoverished parents rice. She didn’t ask for money, but told him her sad, poor parents story and how she was in the business to send money home. Within the month, he sent money for her to go back home for Christmas..later he sent her a computer and camera and many, many clothes. And money every month, about USD 300.00. One month it was for over USD3000.00. It was because he foolishly didn’t check the currency and thought it was in Ph pesos!! But it was in USD. All total in about 18months, he had spent well over 10,000USD. Over 5000.00 was spent on prepaid phone cards alone for him to use to call her.

    So imagine when I found out that he was hopelessly in love with her and thought that she was the most special thing/person in the world, and he only “thought” he was in love before..but if he had the choice, he would pick her every time (over me and another love before me – this was written in an email to her). He knew she wanted kids, but told her they would be together forever (he is 37 years older than her and first “selected” her when she was 20. He does not like organized religion and completely dismissed the fact that the church going Catholic girl would want to raise her children in the same manner.

    She knew he was still married with children who were older than her. He told her that I had always wanted to move on (which was true).

    I am so appalled at his behavior. He used money from the little we had left from a rental property we had sold to stay afloat because he had not had income for several years. He had always done the taxes because they were so complicated, but then I found out that two years were not even filed. Of course, I am responsible for the taxes too, but he had always taken care of them. We are now paying hefty penalties and interest for those two years. I was always trying to work as much as possible at my low paying job, while he mindlessly frittered away our money.

    After all of the truth was discovered, I had a breakdown. We are still married, but he left for his own country (not Philippines) right before I found all the naked photos of her in vulgur positions and normal photos of her and all of the written history of the first few months.

    I am not sure what happened to this man’s mind. I guess men think with their penises. He was someone I respected and was very intelligent. We just had a hard time living together.

    He told me that he has ended the relationship, but I found out recently that he is still contacting her. He said that she is his only friend.

    I am sure that she is a sweet girl, but what 20 year old is really so attracted to a nearly 60 year old man? Especially someone she has not even met in person. I know everyone is different, but in my 20s, I thought anyone over 40 who even looked at me in an interested way was gross!

    It is a means to an end, to find security for themselves and their families. The girl even wrote to my husband to ask if he knew anyone that might be suitable for her girlfriend who was interested in finding a foreigner (after the girl told her friend about her good luck having my husband for her new love).

    All in all, I can say that my husband acted without thinking. He had plans to have her join him right away. I wonder how he was going to introduce her to his very conservative and uptight mother.

    Needless to say, I am hurt by his actions. At the very least, he could have divorced before embarking on a money draining new love life.

    We needed serious help, which may have turned our marriage around, but his actions have brought forth serious doubts that it could happen, because I know that he will always have love for his brown, island girl and he will always worry about her welfare. On a side note, I have always kept myself in very good shape and people often think that I am about ten years younger, but of course, gravity is starting to show on my body. I will never pass for a 22 year old.

    One last thing, when I found out that he was actually in love with a girl he met on a sex site, he told me he sent money to get her out of the business. He sent her money so that she could go back home. Apparently she did. I googled her name again and saw that her profile page was still up (she is not very sophisticated, as she used her real name on the site). I told my husband that she was still selling herself. He had a look of total shock as he could not believe it. It may have been an old profile page that still was available on the web, but regardless, I told him she was still on the sex site.

    He called her and found out that indeed, she was back in the business – because she had to make money now that he told her he could not send her money for awhile (because I found out). She had lied to him, and he was devastated.

    So guys, please, please, please be careful. Never send money to someone you have not met. Think with your heads and wonder if it really makes sense to pursue someone you would not think of pursuing in your own country (especially one working in the sex industry).

    I think that many people were hurt. The girl – as she expected to be taken care of , my husband, who thought he was heading for a beautiful life together with his beautiful new lover (who knows he may still pursue her) and me..but I guess it was all my fault as I was the one who wanted to leave him in the first place. But I always thought that we would still be very good friends before I found out about the deception.

    Several days l

  59. I’m an American and I’m married to a filipina. She was born and raised in the Philippines but was already an American citizen when I met her in hawaii. She was young and sweet and very sexual when we met. 8 years and two kids later and she is not sweet or sexy anymore. Now she is fat and lazy. I’m ready to trade her in for a newer model!

  60. i have a wife in my own country, and suddenly a girl from my friend list greeted me and say, “i admireyou, bro” then we had only e few chat.
    few days later she came and she told how she loved me. i shared a lot of things and i met her then in her home. we both have marriage problems and it’s impossible for her to make divorce paper in her country. but i can do as single bcs i have no legal marriage document.
    she is now my wife, i cant bring her home to my country bcs of her doc problem. she is an independent woman and never depends on me. she works for her own and she always tells me that she will do anything for me. she loves me more than i love her,

    we are online everyday and we talk a lot. i go there every 3 months and she comes here every 3 months. we do love each other and appreciate each other.

    She makes me proud of her and love pinays.

  61. me: 57, in good shape, healthy….after failed marriages in the US, the last where I was a ‘mule’, income provider and kept on the outside by my wife’s family. I went online, and short story, met about 3-4 women online in phil. I initially was looking for a mate 40-45 years old. I was inundated with responses from women in their 20′s. My initial response was, “What the hell you want with me?” After three weeks of fending off queries, I started chatting with them. The older women definitely are seeking to ‘cement’ their future, with expectations, usually involving children. I eventually started chatting with women in their 20′s and was brutally honest. I will not have children. I chatted and learned the difference between the hard core scammers, and the more subtle ones. I also made a woman feel so comfortable with me that she was free to be herself…so true intentions would surface. I would rather spend $500 to a $1000 over a few months, and learn..than be frugal, and controlling only to learn true intentions later. I met three online, paid very close attention to web cam backgrounds, jewelry, companions…. and the experience level in relationships.
    I wished each of them the best in life and goodbye when the intentions were clearly not in line with the direction I was going.

    I took three weeks in Phil and took one (Ghem) on a resort vacation. I was not looking for a ‘hook-up’, rented rooms, separate beds showing respect and consideration. I wanted to meet a real Phil…
    The first: I think I was talking to her sister, from online, to ‘real’.. no transition was made. She told people we met I was her boss in tagalog. Back at the resort, I left money out, told her that her mother did a very poor job raising her. Took a walk. Came back, she had departed and I enjoyed some peace and quiet, and some very nice solitude.
    Second: I met her (Anne) online, Flew to another island, met her in ‘real’, actually stayed with her family in a spare room. Not a match, still friends.
    I met another woman (Carol) while out window shopping, in her early 30′s, she asked what everyone asked me, “Did I have a woman last night’. When I told her no, that was not my objective, she offered herself. We had a brief discussion that involved self respect, and the difference between us and dogs. Not a match. After two weeks, I gave up. I relaxed and began just enjoying my vacation. (I have sown my wild oats, I have had great toys. I have dated gorgeous women… and have great kids. All that to say, my priorities have changed. I was not looking to prove buying or using a woman).
    Back in Angeles City, 4 days before my flight left, I walked down the street to get a beer, maybe shoot some pool. I walked by most girlie bars, then walked into one and sat down. Approx 15 women/girls were on a stage, moving a bit to the music, mostly bored and interacting w each other. Walking in, a beautiful young lady at the rear of the stage and my eyes locked. It was different, interesting. I looked away, and looked back. Our eyes met again. I sat down, ordered a beer. The mamasan came over and asked me if I wanted company. I pointed out the young lady( No NaMe), she came over sat down with a “Hello xxxxxxx”. We chatted the rest of the night. She explained I could have any of the women for the night for only 1500 ph. I asked if that included her. Her response was no xxxxxxx, any of THEM. She would never. i said, wow, self respect, or a different price. We talked the rest of the evening about barfines, prostitution, money, trust and respect. We discussed her life, her age…my life. At the end of the evening, I offered her a different room at my hotel, told her I would like to meet her at breakfast. She said no.
    I had met another woman (Len, about 30) when I was shopping earlier in the day, we had made a lunch date for the next day. We met for lunch, our lunch order was enough to feed a small family, I understood, and encouraged her to get to go boxes. We talked, I explained why I was in Phil, honestly. She gave me a list of her requirements to be her man. She cried when I told her we were not seeing each other again.
    The next night, I went back to where I had met Ms No NaMe… I walked in, she came up, grabbed my arm, and said, pay the bar, take me to your motel, I trust you. We left.. went out to dinner. We discussed family, I related my goal in coming to phil. I related I had met different women, even discussed the woman I met for lunch a few hours earlier. That night I offered to rent her her own room. She related she wanted to be with me. We spent the night, her in her clothes, pair of shorts and a shirt. No sex. Snuggled, kissed… I am not a saint, when she stopped my advances, I respected her. Later she related to me, she is a cherry girl. She has turned down large sums of money, and resisted pressure from her employer to sell it. The next day we spent together. I met her mother, and we spent the rest of my time in phil together. She was true, accurate… her experience level in discussing personal relationships pointed to no experience. When I had to say good-bye, it hurt.
    I have given it a lot of thought, we have been in almost constant contact. My friends, family are obviously concerned. Older women single friends are threatened. Married female, and male friends who know what I have dealt with in my past relationship are all for me making this a long term relationship. My thoughts are, I could say goodbye, where would that leave her??? Better??? My thoughts?
    There is no fool like an old fool…hmmmm
    and… what are my options here?
    In the USA? If I meet someone here, again, on the outside to the children… second to the primary family…. my ex-wife texts me, enticing me… not gonna happen..

    Conclusion? We plan on marrying next month. In Phil. S(he still has my respect, and my trust.) Then apply for her permanent visa… She has not changed in the three months I have been back, texts me, or calls me everynight, and our phones blow up all day. We have had communication issues, misunderstandings. We have hurt each other a few times, thru not understanding the meanings and cultural differences, but chat has cleared that up…
    My summation, this Lady is the sweetest most unassuming person I have met… am I concerned about being used to support her, her family? No…. in comparison to my ex, I could spend 1/10th what I spent and be ahead, and get appreciation and respect. Or you could say I am buying it, and I would respond, I could NOT buy that from my ex’es!!!!! Women, love exchanged for security has been the time tested formula.
    So, I will buy her a house, and plan her financial future security. Everything that my ex tried to screw me out of, and could have had in exchange for truth, and sincere affection…. Goes to someone who tells me not to spend my hard earned money on her…. she is content w basics…
    If you think I am being used…. consider the opposite… even though I would not..

  62. Pickle, I see the attacks on your publications do not discourage you from continuing, good for you. We westerners are comfortable with our freedom of speech. Checks and balances my friend. Its to be expected and appreciated. Do you know that look a child has when he/she is caught with their hand in the cookie jar, that is the response you are receiving from the self proclaimed intelligent woman that do not like hearing about their fellow Philippine acting in such a manner. Yes its hard to read about your friend or family members who actively pursue hurting another human using love as the instrument of destruction. My thought for the educated woman of the Phi. who disprove of such activities is to educate these woman/men and show them your superior intellect, voicing your opinion is one think, doing something about it another. The truth sometimes hurts, when the pain becomes crushing, that’s when its time to act. How should we start????You tell me, please. During my career, I have lived and traveled all over the world, seen such activities in most places, Philippines no different. To deny such activities is very foolish, I know you agree. I know you are mad, I understand. I want people like you to get really mad. Then perhaps we can change the ambiguous portrayal of both westerner and Philippine culture that has created this excepted betrayal of humanity. When I first moved to the Philippines, Cebu, the first observation I made was seeing all the alcoholic westerners falling from one bar to another. The shame was instant, to this day, I walk in shame knowing that everyone thinks I am one of those men. Why, because we are all the same, isn’t that what you think??? Or are we generalizing??? You see my dear it works both ways. You look at westerners with pause and we look at you with concern. Its a natural response to indifference. That being said, I want you to know that in the United States, we look at the Philippine people as our brothers and sisters, and have since 1898. We only want the best for your people and hope for a better tomorrow, but if we continue to use each other through pain to gain, nothing will change. I have only been here for 4 months and already thinking of leaving, the things that have happened to me in this short time has changed my prospective. K

  63. Pickle, nice page, glad to see your taking the criticism and continue to publish. Freedom of speech, take the good with the bad my friend. Everyone has a opinion. Im also glad to see many self proclaimed “intelligent woman” are mad. Get mad my friends, sometimes the truth hurts. You know that look when a child gets caught with their hands in the cookie jar, well, that’s what is going on here. It hurts to hear true horror stories, especially when they are your friends or family who are the perpetrators. Every culture looks at each other with indifference. For good reason, we are all different. During my career, I have lived and traveled all over the world, the Philippines are no different from other locations. Everyone wants a piece of the land of milk and honey and will stop at nothing to achieve this, it happens all over the world. So any U.S. traveler knows what to expect. A burden labeled. Ive been here in Cebu for a short 4 months and came with a open mind and goals. The one thing I didn’t expect to see was all the alcoholic foreigners staggering from bar to bar. I cant walk any where without thinking/feeling that everyone thinks I am one of these people. I walk in shame for the first time in my life. When walking on one side of the street, I see the woman go to the other side of the street to avoid me, fearing im most likely drunk and ready to assault them. Very sad for me. So, I see and understand why many Philippine people may be upset. I agree completely. On the other hand im also upset with the mind set that has taken place over many years. Case in point, When meeting Phi. people, the first thing they want to know is if I have a girl friend or wife, why do you think that is, well, I found out why. You see, if I am spoken for then I am of limits to everyone else, my chosen woman and her family has dibs on me. Which means they can and only they are allowed to drink from the land barer of milk and honey. Sounds crazy right, I know. I found this out with the first friend I made here, he and his family told me that they didn’t want me to have a girl friend unless it was some one from his family, that way they could drink for my cup. So if I have a girl friend not within his family he would lose his hold on my friendship and money. No one wants to hear this, right, well, sometimes the truth hurts. I found this out when I ran into a woman at the food store and told me that she asked my friend if I was available for dating/friendship and he told her not to bother because I was spoken for, (by him). When I confronted him about this, he told me what I just told you. This is the mind set, how am I to feel about future friendships here??? You tell me, Please. Been here 4 months and stay away from all contact due to these lessons. Your answer would be, you just haven’t met a different type or the right type yet. Well, that’s not a answer, that’s that just a excuse. Its hard to change our preconceived views points, like the “intelligent woman” or the peanut vendor who begged me to go out with his daughter because he needed me in his family, or the friend who was unwilling to let me find love knowing he and his family would lose me, they all, we all have our preconceived views of each other now. So, my “intelligent woman” be mad about what you have read, the truth sometimes hurts. What I am asking you is that you help us all change these views instead of complaining about the truth.

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