Girlfriend from the Philippines- observations only - Filipina girlfriend
Filipinas can be some of the sweetest flowers on earth but if you make one angry there is no pit bull alive that can protect you.
They can be the kindest loving partner you will ever find or can become your worst nightmare. This probably holds true with all girls but I am going to try my put a few tips here for guys that have not yet been to the Philippines and are planning to try to meet a Filipina.
buying shoes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g95GKcRdM7Q
First lets take a look at the chat rooms on the internet. My feeling is that this is not the way to go. There is too much room for false impressions and total lies in these chat rooms (from both parties).
Some girls work these chat rooms for a living, making a living on gullible guys that send them money. There have been cases where some of these “Filipinas” that are in fact big African men from Nigeria.
There are many Filipinas that are diligently working the internet angle to score a foreigner that will get them out of their situation. Maybe they have a relationship or marriage that went bad and just want a way to support their kids.
Walking around Cebu City at Night
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwslspRqNdA
Some are single and ambitious and are looking for a Filipino boyfriend or a foreigner and love the mystique of searching online. There are success stories out there and many girls love it. For guys into chatting it’s a way to introduce yourself to potential mates.
I have met a few men that met their partner on line before coming to the Philippines. They got married here, built a fine house and business, made a few babies, then things went pear shaped and they split up and the wife got everything.
In the Philippines your holdings must be in a Philippine national’s name because a foreigner can not legally own a business or property. The foreigner must put up the money and find some local willing to put the real estate in their name where they have all the rights to sell, lease or whatever they choose to do with it. It seems rather risky to me.
Cebu Immigration
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abuwuo5UDmw
There are ways around it, by forming a corporation, but usually guys that do that are into bigger money than the average Joe.
My gut feeling is that it is better to rent or lease your residence here and invest your money in countries where there is less risk and corruption. Title insurance and stuff like that do not have much teeth here. All the papers for the land you bought could well be fraudulent even if you got them personally from the land office.
Catbalogan fish market
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_5BF5FLfB8
If you just want to build your wife/girlfriend a place on her family’s land and have spare funds, why not? My advice is more for those that might not be in a financial position to take a hit or those that really plan to sink some serious cash into their project.
Another twist is the internet porn sites that are actually illegal in the Philippines but are flourishing and difficult to locate and shut down. Many are protected by the local police and politicians so only outsiders will get burnt, more as a move to cut out the competition than any morality issue.
Roble Shipping ferry Catbalogan to Cebu City
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJOldSJWetU
Some see these sites as safe ways for girls to make money rather than actually working in the bars opening themselves up to sex for money, std’s, pregnancy and creepy situations.
Some of these encounters get very personal and the two develop a relationship and get together in real life. Who knows, if it works for you, go for it.
Mc Donalds in Tacloban
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klwxY0-GnVo
Many guys from foreign lands come to the Philippines just for the purpose of having some fun and getting a short time girlfriend and then fall in love with a girl they met in the bar. This is much more common than one would think. Angeles City in Pampanga 3 hours north of Manila is the usually starting point.
International flights are increasing to Clark Field where Angeles City is located. It used to be a US airbase but after the Americans lost their lease it has become an international trade zone and the girlie bars remain.
Our Place Bar Cebu City
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Etb-cRHGzBo
Fields Avenue, the main strip, is getting more developed with quality international hotels and an endless string of bars. Angeles used to have character but is becoming more boring in recent years in my opinion.
Angeles City is an all night party zone attracting an older crowd of retirees and a mixed bag of others. There is not much going on during the day but SM mall sprung up a few years ago and it’s a pleasant place to eat and get out of the heat and into an air conditioned environment.
McArthur Memorial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oH1ZmeUh0c
Many of these girls, known as “cherry girls” are fresh in from the provinces and are not available for take out. Others often are juggling a few foreign boyfriends who send money for her and her real Filipino boyfriend to enjoy.
The tricycle drivers there are on the game too. They are very charming and convincing and have time and cultural identity on their side. Some foreign men don’t really care and are just in the Philippines for fun but others get crushed when they find out what is going on.
coin toss
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ2vUIfXcwA
The flip side of that coin is that a lot of these girls are genuinely looking for a life partner and will give it their everything and are equally crushed when the foreigner moves on. In either scenario the person can get hardened to giving their heart away again.
Surprisingly, there are a lot of success stories that come out of Angeles. People in general get lonely and want to have a partner in life.
Mactan Bridge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INCszQ1fH_w
Another option to finding a mate is to just to travel around the Philippines, go to the malls, markets and talk to everyone you meet along the way. For me this is the most interesting method but not everyone has the free time on their hands to do it.
Just be aware these girls require a lot of attention and if you come up short, someone else will fill the gap. A common scenario is that the foreigner ends up supporting his “girlfriend” and her local boyfriend.
Pintuyan Sogod Bay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txUpmnOsYBw
One girl I met had a new house, compliments of her foreign boyfriend, but changed her local boyfriend every month. She really took good care of those boys and they all wore designer clothing and had new cell phones.
Motorcycle wedding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIEnX2zKK5I
It just depends on what you are looking for. This page is geared more to those looking for a steady partner rather than a party.
A lot of what you get will depend on what you are willing to put into the relationship. If you show respect and consideration to your potential girlfriend, you are off to a good start. Many of these girls really are looking for a partner to share their life with, but use caution. There is no need to jump in straight away and get married.
Prony the Python
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHPq9CdMfCU
Below are a few pointers that might come in handy:
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1) Cell phones - This is the most useful tool available to begin romance. Girls on the bus, boat, train, plane or just walking around in the mall will be easy to approach and will freely give out their number. Some guys even have a business card with their number on it that they can pass out. A Filipina will drop everything to answer a text from some one they do not even know because the curiosity is just too great.
I find phones of any type to be a nuisance but in the Philippines they are a necessary evil.
The Philippines is the texting capitol of the world (seriously)
Hinabangan Samar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn-HNbd9s84
One note of caution is that you will constantly be bugged for a “load” (pre-paid minutes) if you do give out your number.
The model of cell phone that you carry is also a status symbol. You can live in a grass shack but if you have a cell phone camera with an mp3 - u d man!!!!
note - No matter how much money you give her, she will not buy her own load (pre-paid minutes) . Just go and buy it when you pass a sari sari store.
Dumaguete noise and fruits
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C101XJLdQEI
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2) Age - Age doesn’t seem as important in Asia as it is in the west. Cleanliness and politeness go a long ways here. If you do hook up with a local girl you will be the one to take everyone out to eat etc and of course - foot the bill.
Keep in mind that if you choose to have a girlfriend much younger than yourself you will need to have patience because she will have a different style than you do. Allow for that.
pensionne Bato Leyte
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O2kCzINIQ8
If she is a big party girl it will probably not work out.
(If you are just out for the party, don’t lead the girl on because there are plenty of party girls available.)
It is a good idea to meet the family of the girl that you are going out with if you are serious about her.
Sometimes this might involve making a trip to the province (in the outback) but it can be an enjoyable and fun experience.
Be sure bring along some food for everyone. You don’t want to be a burden to the family.
Cagsawa Ruins Mayon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9tX8K2wFJQ
suggestions:
rice
lechon baboy - roast pig by the kilo or whole. If you want to make a splash buy a whole pig and pay someone to roast it. (3,000 to 4,000 pesos depending on size)
noddle packs - they come 40 or 80 to the box
coffee - they aren’t big coffee drinkers, but you might be!
oranges - ponkan - in season 4 to 5 pesos each in Cebu City
hard mangos - by the kilo
soap
cooking oil
flashlight batteries
candles
Sangcianko Street
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTsc0gBU0HI
If you are getting serious about the relationship
mp3 player
cell phone for mom
shirts for the brothers and sisters
electric fan
NOTE - The importance of rice can not be overstated. Meat, potatos, lechon, fish, or anything else does not count as food if theye is no rice.
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3) Friendster
Almost all Filipinas have a friendster page. It’s worth setting one up.
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4) Yahoo web cam
These things drive me nuts but the Filipinas are passionate about them. If you are into it these are a great idea.
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5) About being social…
a) In Asia and the Philippines superficial things can be very important in establishing one’s social standing.
As mentioned above - cell phone model is crucial if you play that game.
Crown Regency Tower changing color
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAZW4bvR9pQ
b) Where you stay. Do you need an expensive 3 star place. (This one always gives me a chuckle because many of these girls come from shacks in the province and try to make a big impression by staying at a 50 to 75 USD night place with their “boyfriend”. I don’t play that game because I am frugal, or a “Cheap Charlie”, and have no intention on keeping up a lifestyle that I don’t care for. Do what is right for you.
If you are only here for 3 or 4 weeks why not spend 50 dollars a night. For me I can take that 1,500 a month and rent a great place for a year.
Leyte to Bohol Ferry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-98MKXSHpI
After you have been here for a while you start to think in pesos and your money goes a long way.
It is possible to throw money around and be the hero if that is your style, but once you start doing that the family will expect you to come to the rescue whenever a minor “emergency” occurs.
c) Mode of transport - Most new arrivals will not have their own vehicle because it takes time to register them and get a license.
V-hires or rented private vans will impress the family. Taxis are another way to go and still preserve your status. Jeepneys and buses are for the masses.
I like riding on the roofs of those jeepneys. caution- in the cities beware of pickpockets and specialists with slitting your pockets and bum bag with a razor and removing the contents. They are good and might get you even if you are street smart. The thieves work in teams and it can get very crowded on those jeepneys!
d) Clothes - Brand names show that you are indeed “cool”.
e) Gold jewelery - Don’t bother with anything else. Gold is huge (but expensive).
f) Buying or building a house - As mentioned above, don’t invest more than you can afford to loose.
My only suggestion is to look around a bit before leaping! Just keep in mind that even if you are in the right, legally, the wheels of justice turn slowly here and can be slowed down even more if your adversary is willing to spend a little cash.
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6) Allow for moodiness
Probably women worldwide get moody, but I think Filipinas can go to extremes. Maybe your girl won’t talk to you or is very upset about something you did. If you ask what the problem is she will just say “Nothing!”
I guarantee that response.
These girls can put up with an amazing amount of discomfort or just plain pain if they have an objective. For example a friend of my girlfriend wanted to go home in the province 59 kilometers one way in very harsh conditions. She sat on the steel extension on the back of my bike for 6 hours without complaining. (I had 3 passengers)
She had to be sore. I was.
4 times they had to get off and walk while I climbed some very rough steep road.
I had a good time and so did they without complaining. It might not have been so smooth if we were planning to visit a friend of mine!
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7) Music - Filipinas are music lovers. Make sure she has music, especially in places where there is no signal for the cell phone.
Trust me!
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8. Sing Karaoke - even if you suck! No one cares, just make up for poor quality with volume and every one will praise you. You might even get addicted to singing and start hogging the mike!
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9) Avoid Red Horse - That is a local beer that packs a punch. I don’t know the alcohol content but it has a reputation for making drinkers go crazy.
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10) TV - There is a chance that your girl won’t speak English well enough to watch a news program like CNN and understand what is happening. Shows like Wow Wowie and other slapstick style shows are a huge hit with the all Filipinas. Just deal with it by watching a quick news wrap up and then give her the channel changer.
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11) Internet cafes - If you are in Angeles City you will see wankers checking their email for hours with their “girlfriend” loyally sitting in a chair alongside just waiting till the guy logs off.
Most of these girls know how to use the internet so I suggest paying for another terminal and letting her chat with her friends while you are busy. You will make her life miserable if you have to control every aspect of it.
They will have chat mates that are guys but that is to be expected. It doesn’t mean that they are “cheating” on you. It could go that way if you don’t show her enough attention but you can’t spend every waking moment holding your girl on a leash like a dog because no one will be happy. (At least that’s not my style but I have lost quite a few girlfriends along the way - I shouldn’t even be writing dating tips.)
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12) Menstration - These girls are not shy about talking about their “mens” and it will often be used as a reason not to do some things. I am not talking about sex here but just normal day to day activities that don’t seem like would be a problem. Out in the provinces they have some superstitions that can seem bizarre, but if you are brought up with these ideas they seem factual enough.
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13) Filipina girls are sentimental
Little things go a long way. Stuffed teddy bears and chocolates are importand gifts to show that she is always on your mind.
Don’t forget birthdays and anniversaries!
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14) Taking her Home!
Ok you found her and she is coming home with you to the good old USA, Down Under, or some place in Europe. I have never done this but imagine that the girl will get very lonely if she doesn’t have a group of friends that she can be with. I think that it will go downhill if she just hangs around with bargirls from back home.
There was a commercial pilot that married a real cutie that he found in Angeles City. She was a delight to the heart and eyes but when he got her “home” she had no friends to be with and spent a lot of time eating and watching tv. She looked like a different girl in less than a year. I don’t know how it turned out.
The Filipinas grew up in a very social environment. Unlike in the west, where individualism is encouraged, they are a group oriented society.
They usually do not enjoy doing things on their own and it will take the westerner a while to get used to that style. Have a look at friendster - most of the shots are group photos, rarely are there landscape or scenery pics.
Legal hassles in bringing your Filipina girlfriend or wife home.
This is going to take a bit of work and will probably not be resolved with one trip to the embassy. Be prepared to do a lot of paperwork and face a lot of frustration.
Whalesharks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGaDv2NFRIo
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True Filipina girlfriend stories
Though some of the stories will appear to be fiction, I am quite certain they are very close to the truth except for the names.
Hinabangan Samar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn-HNbd9s84
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Case #1
From Cebu - There was a young Filipina in her prime, like a flower, so sweet and tender and lovely. She was a delight to the heart and soul.
She fell deeply in love with a local boy. Her family disapproved because she was a hot commodity and they felt she could easily snare a wealthy foreigner and get the entire family on the gravy train.
The young man had no education or any real prospects other than driving people around on his tricycle but he was sharp and really loved that girl. He would sneak over to her house to talk and flirt until one day he was shot in the back and died on the spot.
Her father was said to be the instigator that paid the fellow from Negros to kill that young man because he couldn’t stand the idea that she didn’t want a foreigner (with a lot of money).
The case is still in court.
I know the young man’s cousin quite well. It is a story with a sad ending.
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Case #2
There was a fellow from a western country that met his betrothed on the internet.
They were to be soul mates in the business he had planned.
It struck me that she dressed rather unusually for a common country girl. She was hot and had style and could dance beautifully. Her pants always hung low so you could see the top of her panties.
Seductive, yes, but most Filipinas are very conservative about the way they look in public. To me that was clue number one that something was odd.
The money that he had sent her to remodel the house was well spent and the place looked good but the old boy wasn’t allowed to stay there. There had been a recent conversion to Islam by the delightful young ladies “brother” and he disapproved.
Supposedly the “husband” was a drug addict and could no longer be contacted.
This seemed like a common script to me and someone suggested that she might still have a husband or two. In fact my own little darling was shown a picture of the father to at least one of her several children.
I got to thinking that that the recently converted brother might well be the husband and just didn’t want the wife’s boyfriend at the house. He didn’t mind the extra income but perhaps he wanted the house to himself.
Often the real “husband” can not be located and as long as the paper work never finalized a proper wedding a singleness paper can be provided for future marriage purposes. It’s not really all that complicated.
The westerner had a shake program too so I chose to remain on the sidelines. I try not to get involved with things that do not concern me. It seemed that he had her conned into believing that he was a major player.
Whatever - it goes both ways - especially where the internet is concerned. False impressions and outright lies are common from both parties.
It still remains to be seen how this one ends up.
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Case #3
This is the story of another internet love connection that proved to be rather costly in the end.
A retired fellow met his true love on the internet. As with most ,the betrothed had several children with different fathers already but she was just looking for a foreigner that loved her. “Filipino men are no good” was part of her script too.
A lot of this bs (bula bula) seems to follow a set pattern.
“Wally” was a player and enjoyed construction, so he decided to build her a 5 bedroom house with 3 cr’s (comfort rooms - bathrooms) in a nice suburb of Cebu.
They had a child and sealed the pact.
Wally got a bit bored and decided to build a resort.
Wally did have a weakness for women and his darling became aware of the indiscretion. She went on the warpath and devotes every minute of every day trying to make Wally miserable.
A Filipina that has been wronged is a dangerous animal - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Anyway she had the papers for the properties in her personal safe for safekeeping. BUT we all hear that the Philippines is so dangerous and sure enough someone broke in and stole all the paperwork.
Somehow when the replacement papers were issued, Wally’s name did not appear on anything. Perhaps Mrs Wally had a cousin in the land office or something. Just be aware that this sort of thing is easy to do in this country. Just because there is a piece of paper, it doesn’t mean anything.
Read my page about investing in the Philippines.
Using a well planned skit and a connection in the police deptartment,Mrs Wally was able to get a restraining order on Wally. He was not permitted to see his kid or come within 100 meters of the property.
Almost weekly there is a new complaint filed with the police dept.
She has taken over the pension that Wally gets somehow.
Wally seems content to move on with his life but it will be interesting to see how this one turns out. He really does care for the kid and wants to have a financial future for the little guy. It looks like Mrs. Wally will get all the benefits however.
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Case #4
Big Jimbo
This is a tale of true love that took a while to develop. Big Jimbo actually met his wife while she was working in California.
She was an older girl and Jimbo was in his 60’s. He had been married 4 times already and just married the girl to help her stay in the US and work. She was a clever woman and they set up care facilities for the elderly.
Jimbo was a player and handled the construction and realestate. They made a team. She had a big web of connections with Filipinas in the health care field and together they were very successful in their endevor.
This guy got stuff done fast in the Philippines too. He put up nice houses quickly and got the kids to run a multi-cab business.
Big Jimbo and Mrs Jimbo were content to spend countless hours talking and playing cards together and over the years they built a strong loving relationshp.
Sadly Mrs. Jimbo developed a serious case of cancer that did not look curable.
Big Jimbo told me that he spent the finest years of his life with that woman.
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Case # 5
There was a young las from one of the small islands in Maqueda Bay that went to mine for gold in the girlie bars up north near Clark Field.
She was a sweet young thing and became close to a nice Sugar Daddy that decided to spring for a nice house in her home province so that she could get out of the bar.
It was a nice place and she lived happily everafter with a new Filipino boyfriend every month.
These boys always had nice new clothes and the latest cell phone.
She shared her Sugar Daddy’s generous spirit.
True story.
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Jean Beliveau walks around the world
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TXpFp5Eq5c
Your case stories are hilarious! I think the key to finding a good, solid, filipina is to avoid the island of Luzon altogether!!!!
Great stuff, and you have to wonder about the dummies who become dummies so extensively.
Hi James!
Thanks! I will have to update this page with new stories one of these days.
Any readers have any stories to add?
“laughter is the best medicine”
dp
dutchpicle,
I’m Silk Spectre II, a pure filipina woman…why do you feel that you have to insult people so strongly? Do you have some pent up feelings against pure-bred Filipinas? Did you have a bad encounter with one and have sworn off them for life or something? WE are kindhearted, shows respect to both young and old, WE laughs, WE cries, WE triumphs, WE fails, but WE will always stand up, and say I’m a Filipina. I’m proud of where I came from, I’m proud of my country, I’m proud of being a Pinay, I’m proud to be a Filipino. Maybe you only knw filipinas from the bar ..thats why they always ask for money..Try to explore PHILIPPINES , YOU will find a lot of EDUCATED filipinas,
Who is she???? An individual with much to offer. Desired for her beauty that is reflected in her character as a person, not as a governmental pawn for political agendas. If you ask her what her agenda may be and you don’t agree, give her respect, give her free will and give her the ability to choose for herself as long as she is not harming others. She may be many things to many people, but let her decide who she wants to be. She is Filipino, a lady from the Philippines that is as proud as any woman from any country whom endearingly is known to most of us as a Filipina Lady. If insulting is the way a country will brand itself as `First World,´ then I say that I´m glad Philippines is third world because we are accorded there the basic dignity befitting a human being.
Hello Silk Spectra 11,
I always tell my girl - be proud because you are Waray! Never let anyone put you down!
I love my girl very much and believe that filipinas are some of God’s finest creations. I do not believe that education gives a filipina more character or makes them better or more “social” than other filipinas. (But she is college educated)
The anecdotes that I included above are first hand - that is, I know or met the girl but don’t know both parties in all the cases. I included these stories because many foreign men come here with wide open eyes, drooling and slobbering and fumbling with their zippers and get caught up in all sorts of stupidity. These stories are just meant to be a slap in their face and snap them back to reality.
There are scammers on both sides of the relationship.
One comedy I ran across was an American guy that talked a big money game but arrived here broke and the girl paid for everything for three weeks. He took me aside and asked for a loan. What a character, but she was on the game too and thought she had hooked a big fish. It just didn’t work out.
Thanks for your viewpoint and sharing it with us.
dp
hi dutchpickle! i am a filipino guy and am deeply ‘in love’ with a beautiful, down-to-earth filipina *STARS in my eyes*** i want to tell you to please not generalize all the filipina women. you are right with some of your views, but not all of them are true. i read some of your topics about the philippines, and yes there are a lot of good traits for the filipina women.
and what i think is that all the stuff you wrote in this blog is mostly about the 3rd world asian women, and not just filipinas. am i right??
DUTCHPICKLE
Someone actually forward me the link to your blog and told me to read it. I found the most outrageous things a Foreigner could say about a FILIPINA.
For one, You said it yourself that hooking up or finding love in the internet is all FAKE and in short BULLSHIT.
For those Filipina’s who have fooled, lied or played with a Foreigner, those are the people who want to try get a life and have no education at all.
You don’t have to generalized that all Filipinas are like what you said.
As you said “Many guys from foreign lands come to the Philippines just for the purpose of having some fun and getting a short time girlfriend”—You think Filos are Bad!! You just mentioned the one of the top reasons why there are a lot of guys like you come to the Philippines. Filipinos are known to be very hospitable, accommodating, respectful, and have good family ties. When it comes to family they are always first.
Unlike some countries when their parents get old the leave them in a retirement home. Filipinos don’t do that, they take good care of there parents until they DIE! Haven’t you notice who are those people taking care of those old people, most care givers are FILIPINOS. Most nurses around the world are FILIPINOS. And for every Filipino who is working abroad, they are striving hard to make something of themselves. Not all FILIPINOS have the same intentions…same goes as FOREIGNERS. Not everyone is the same. You must be one of those idiots who fell into a trap of a nasty Filipina.
Your blog is telling people how awful a place the Philippines is. In Fact the Philippines is one of the nicest place to go to. You left out the part on how nice the beaches are, how lovely places are and how good the food is.
I will not say that your blog is wrong some are true and some are just overly exaggerated. You should not generalize every Filipina you meet, you’ll be amazed on how many Gorgeous, Witty and Outspoken girls there are.
The Philippines may be a 3rd world country but i can assure you that they have a lot of other things to offer and is way better than those 1st world countries.
You better get you blog right!
Dutchpickle! You know what’s funny about the whole thing? It sounds as if you’re afraid of strong-willed, intelligent women. It really doesn’t matter if she’s white, mulatto or black; in this case you’re talking about a Filipina woman who outwitted you or someone else that you knew. No matter where you go or where you end up, there will always be a chance that you will meet someone who is up to no good and this is a fact of life. Come to think of it, I actually consider you or whoever got conned a stupid fool. If you’re looking to find “love” (as you say) in a foreign land, the odds might be in your favor but never expect it to be that easy just ’cause you’re a FOREIGNER (most of the time a.k.a. someone with money to spend).
So you landed on a 3rd world country, it doesn’t mean you can always get your way. I know what MOST foreigners come to the Philippines for, BUT it’s a big stretch if I say that ALL foreigners have THAT in mind isn’t it? It isn’t nice to generalize because you are putting ideas into the minds of your site’s visitors of how bad the entire country is. You are essentially insulting every Filipina woman. I think it’s enough to warn the potential visitors of this country to be wary of pickpockets and frauds; you don’t have to say anything more for everyone to get the picture.
And just so i have you know, I’ve seen and observed a lot of foreigners who think they can get away with acting rude, belittling sales representatives and waiters, basically anyone they want to really just because they’re white, have dollars or whatever foreign currency uneasily hanging out of their pockets, and speak in dollar (english).
Case in point, I would never give up or hide being Filipino just to get ahead in life; it’s too much of a bargain, and for what? So people like you can get the satisfaction of being right when you’re actually very wrong? Get a clue, meet more respectable people (people who don’t bend over backwards for your every whim) and re-evaluate why you came here in the first place.
And as for those who were “tricked”: serves you right, you got what you deserved!
why did you delete my posts??? i thought this was about viewpoints from others who wanted to share?? -kevman
crap sorry man.. i did’nt know.. “Your comment is awaiting moderation.”
I think we have to lighten up a bit and just have a good laugh.
Whether or not we all agree on the things that can, and do sometimes happen in these relationships, it was just my intention to give the “heads up” to the guys that just got off the boat.
No insults or put downs of filipinas intended. My stories are all true cases.
My apologies to MR MANHATTAN - I didn’t delete any posts, maybe it didn’t get sent? Sorry.
I enjoy all viewpoints.
dp
Thanks everyone for writing. I should be near the computer the next few days and will try to get back to you in a timely manner.
dp
Dear dutchpickle,
Interesting read with some humor and caution to those wanting to find love in Philippines, i.e. the Filipinas in general. I just want to put across my ½ cent worth of writing here and my experience with a Cebuana.
I am not white neither am I black. I am an Asian man (not a Filipino). I knew quite a number of Filipinas through patronizing restaurants and pubs in my country while entertaining guests and foreign business delegates. These Filipinas are humans too, trying to earn a living and sent back in pesos whatever they could afford to support their families. Many men had fallen in love with these girls; some success stories while there are sobs too. Not everyone is the same and we cannot generalize. Everywhere is the same, regardless of countries and race.
I fall in love with Mara (not her real name), a Cebuana. Mara was introduced to me through an acquaintance when she worked in my country. Mara is single, but has sister, uncles, aunties, cousins, nephews and nieces who live in the province. From day we met till to-date, she has never asked me for money to help families in the province. Mara never forced me to love her, though she cherished every moment when I was with her. Our love for each other came naturally. I understood her background and where she comes from. Nonetheless, I still love her for her maturity, intelligent, independent mind, honest and of course her beauty. She is indeed very pretty and had lots of admirers when she worked in my country then.
Out of love, I’ve planned to provide little sum of capital for her to start a café-restaurant in the province in the vicinity of an industrial estate, so that she can self-help and engage her family members as employees. I have never been to Philippines, but probably in short period of time I will be there looking forward to visit her, discuss the business and meet the entire family in the province. I don’t want anything out of the business with the capital that I am going to provide, I just want her to be self-reliant, be her own boss and simultaneously providing jobs to some of the relatives. Since Mara’s sister and aunt can cook well, why not apply their skills to the forthcoming cafe-restaurant business!!
You see, what I am trying to picture is what actually foreign men want? Foreign here means those men not of local Filipino. If foreigners look for some fun in Philippines, well there are many other countries you can find too. If your pocket eventually burnt because of the ‘some fun’, then please don’t blame the women of country that you visited. The men themselves wanted to be burnt for the ‘some fun’. If you choose a Filipina to be your lover and wife eventually, well it’s all about what you are looking for. Don’t always listen to unsuccessful stories, how about the many successful men who married Filipinas and doing very well in Philippines?? By the way, it is good to know both type of stories…
The problem here is sometime foreigners think too highly of themselves when they visit country like Philippines. That should not be the case. If we respect our host, we will earn the respect in return. If foreigners are down to earth, humble and not show off the dollar around, think they will be more respected. When foreigners visited Philippines, what were their objectives… just for ‘some fun’ and short-love, well you deserved what you wanted. However, if you met the right Filipina to fall in love with, you are in good time and future, depending on your choice and your plans. There are many Filipinas who are beautiful, educated, loving and very caring. You just have to meet the right one in Philippines. Bet you, the value of culture, family bonding, spirit and love is nowhere you can find in many ladies of your own country.
My Cebuana loves me very dearly even before I planned to provide capital for the café-restaurant business. It is true love, not commercial. Mara loves me not because of the exchange rates between my country’s currency and Philippines’ peso, as she knows I am not a rich man. Mara loves me even though she knew that I am just a simple man earning a living in my country as employee. Mara loves me for what I am and I love her too. Totally pure and sincere.. nothing to do with helping family in province or providing monthly allowance, she has never asked me any money for food and expenses. If I’ve planned to help her setting up the business in Cebu, it is purely love, nothing else. Mara herself was surprised when we talked about it few months back.
Morale of the story is, what exactly you want when you visit Philippines. Blame yourself if you are just there hanging around pubs looking for ‘some fun’ and short quick love. If your pocket burnt hanging around pubs, and your love life died sooner than you thought – then your objective of visiting Philippines achieved as per your desire. That goes the same if you visit other countries too, not just Philippines.
Well, that wasn’t my objective when I first met my pretty, intelligent, caring, loving and honest Cebuana whom I love now.
Thank you for reading my ½ cent write-up.
Everyone has the right of his/her own perception.
Good day!
Malfie
22 Apr 2009
Great post Genalfie!
dp
Thank you dear dutchpickle. You have a great website.
I’ve an itinerary to visit Cebu, Cagayan De Oro, and Tagoloan Misamis Oriental in May 2009. Thus, browsing the net to find out more about Philippines in general. Wa lah… I found your site via google search engine. Fantastic page you have here. Very detail overview of Philippines, people, culture, transport, food, shopping mall, attire, places of interest, accommodation and etc. You name it, and I can get them here. It’s certainly great insight information for people like me whom have not been to Philippines. Salamat kaayo for all the information.
You have done a great job dutchpickle, sir. Excellent!!!
Well done for what you have done for this site.
Maayong gabii
Warmest regards,
Genalfie
23 Apr 2009, 9.45pm
Hello Genalfie,
Thanks for the positive comment - keeps me energized!
Feel free to add any info that you discover as it would be most welcome by myself and other readers.
cheers
dp
It’s sad how, after all your experience of living in this country, you obviously have not met a single educated, independent, middle-class Filipina. It’s also disgusting how your piece distorts the exquisite mosaic that is the Filipina into an ugly mug of ignorance and destitution.
How dare you?
Incredibly remarkable insights such as “…Shows like Wow Wowie and other slapstick style shows are a huge hit with the all Filipinas. Just deal with it by watching a quick news wrap up and then give her the channel changer…” and “…Girls on the bus, boat, train, plane or just walking around in the mall will be easy to approach and will freely give out their number…”, among many others, only show how you’ve already stereotyped a people you barely know.
I’m a Filipina. I watch CNN. I hate Wowowee.
Your “observations only” of Filipinas mask subtle condescension. You can’t fool me. So please pry your mind open and go re-educate yourself.
Dear crux of the stars,
Obviously these are only my personal observations based on my experience. My experience in the Philippines is, as you point out, very limited.
Interesting story from this morning - my college educated girlfriend went over the the neighbors door a few apartments down to ask the girl living there for an address in town.
The neighbor has a cute half/half with a foreign asawa that sends her money every month. She also has several older filipino children.
When my girlfriend went to the door it was answered by a filipino man who appeared to be at least the current boyfriend or father of the other kids.
Happens all the time… sorry … it really does…
Other points
1) I am of the belief that the heart is not influenced by education.
2) My suggestion about meeting girls in bookstores and restaurants in the mall is for those who think that they can only meet girls in a go-go bar. There are plenty of beautiful, sweet, charming girls that you can meet in your day to day life in the Philippines.
3) Wow Wowie is a very popular tv show in the Philippines - that can not be debated.
I borrowed this post from a reply on the Biri Island in the Samar section story…
bad luck you are not at villa amor now , a couple of angeles “hose” are staying there and helping out the local boys , with money , drinks , etc . funny how things turn out in life , these girls have foreign boyfriends who give them money for sex and these same girls give money to their filipino boyfriends for sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my workman there at the villa are a bit distracted by two beautiful filipino girls walking around in “t backs” , not a usual sight on biri
(borowed from post on Biri Island by Peter Montgomery)
dp
Here is another story from Peter Montgomery about Biri Island
hi dp
yes there are many funny story’s to be heard in the p. i.
biri island is no exception , these are just some of those funny happenings .
my wife’s cousin , we will call him boy “a” ,
has a local girlfriend who just happens to have a husband foreigner who has built her a nice home in biri town , she calls boy “a” her relative and general helper around the home , soon as the foreigner goes back to his country , boy “a” is back on stud duty with old mate’s wife .
miley is from biri but lives in oz and works hard to send money back to set up a home , educate / clothe properly all the relatives etc. . the relatives waste all the money at the cock fights , drinking and parties . miley writes back asking how little ronaldo is going at school , little ronaldo is living in a nippa hut , never been to school and dressed in rags .
“It’s sad how, after all your experience of living in this country, you obviously have not met a single educated, independent, middle-class Filipina. It’s also disgusting how your piece distorts the exquisite mosaic that is the Filipina into an ugly mug of ignorance and destitution.
How dare you?”
I agree. I’m Filipina as well, middle-class, well-traveled and educated, and can’t help but be disgusted by the generalizations here, or the locations that are listed to “meet girls”. Pages like this do nothing but paint a horrible picture of us, drawing men hungry for subservient, lesser-educated Asian girls to this country - precisely the kind of men that most Filipinas worth their salt want to avoid and the gold-digging bottom-feeders (that exist in every culture, anyway) want to sink their claws into for that elusive green card. As with anything in life, you reap what you sow. Why not visit a nice (not sleazy) bar and meet singles like most respectable Filipinos do?
FYI Wow Wowie is regarded as degrading and sexist by a good many Filipinos. There’s even a Facebook group devoted to just that.
quote
“Another option to finding a mate is to just to travel around the Philippines, go to the malls, markets and talk to everyone you meet along the way. For me this is the most interesting…”
apparently you missed that one
anyway another cool story!
A fellow staying a few houses down from me met his wife on the internet. They developed a relationship, got married, went to the US, (she wanted to return to the Philippines because she missed her family - so they did)
“Jeb” noticed that she did not even know how to log in on a computer and was curious why that was. She never actually chatted at all, because a friend posted her picture and did all the correspondence on her own.
Just another interesting story that I know of first hand. He since became disillusioned and returned to the US. The family did tend to take excessive advantage of the guy and he just fell apart.
dp is not saying that all internet relationships are a joke - dp is mearly pointing out that there is room for a lot of false impressions and lies from both sides when using the internet to find your true love.
There are most likely many success stories out there as well! Please share a few examples.
quote
“Why not visit a nice (not sleazy) bar and meet singles like most respectable Filipinos do?”
Please list a few places so readers will have that option.
thank you for your comment
dp
MY NAME IS SHAHUL
IAM STAYING AT DUBAI AND IAM A BUSINESS MAN
AND LOOKING FOR SUITABLE GIRLFRIEND WHO CAN
LOOK BEAUTIFULL AND WOULD LIKE TO JOINT WITH ME
WHILE IAM TRAVELLING FOR BUSINESS TRIP
IF ANY BODY WOULD LIKE TO JOINT PLEASE SEND ME
E-MAIL AND SHOULD BE TRUSTWORTHY.
THANKS AND REGARDS
SHAHUL
I love reading your post and a Filipina of course. I’ve got a girlfriend and what you’ve post is really helpful to our relationship.
Filipina,
Have fun!
dp
I am financial stable man, from American. I am handsome, and good looking man. I would like to search my long term relationship women from Philliphina. If you interested with me, please send your email and make the best schedule that we can chat in yahoo messenger.
My email: laramee.raymond@yahoo.com
There are no doubt scam artists on both sides of an internet equation. Recently, when I signed up for a month’s membership on FilipinaHeart.com, I was instantly inundated by literally hundreds of emails, winks, IM’s and such from girls as young as 19, all looking for “A man from 18 - 80″… meaning, basically, “any warm body will do”.
But I learned quickly that it wasn’t about warm bodies at all… but about fat wallets. I met one woman who apparently had some degree of a conscience because after she led me out to Yahoo Messenger where she could more freely operate her trade, after some time and discussion, she admitted that those we not her photos… and that trying to get money from westerners was her “job” via this website. Yeah… I know… her job was emotional extortion… essentially trying to snag the cost of a webcam or whatever else she could pry loose from a guy in order to feed her family.
After we talked a while, she confessed all this to me because she said I seemed genuine and also, apparently, pretty clueless about the online dating environment and the accompanying pitfalls. She told me that “many” but not all women on the FH.com site were actively employed on one or more online dating websites in the same way she was. It was this odd window into the back room of this seedy business of using beauty and the promise of true love to swindle westerners (and Europeans too, I suppose) out of amounts of money that they’d probably never miss… you know… since we’re all rich. :\
So… I actually do have a point… and the point is this: I think there are some absolutely genuine Filipinas looking to meet an American guy for legitimate and honest reasons… but that discerning them from the wealth of poverty-motivated scam artists is like finding a needle in a haystack. I’ve already found a girl that *seems* genuine, is beautiful, smart and interested in pursuing the beginnings of a relationship… but, for myself and others following in my footsteps, I’d welcome advice on how to tell the difference between the two. My experience has to do with meeting girls online - but I’m sure that any advice would apply to meeting in person as well. Does anyone have any advice to offer to us “stupid Americans” about how to find true love in the online age without getting scammed along the way?
Thanks for the thought-provoking site and commentary, DP. Nice work.
Outstanding post nouveau!
Very well put.
There are many sweet Filipinas looking for a genuine relationship, just as there are many western men looking for the real deal.
However…
there are many creepy western dudes in the Philippines abusing some of these wonderful sweeties and there are just as many cute little sharks working the internet trying to sucker western guys.
dp
Hello dutchpickle,
Hope you wouldn’t mind me commenting a little here and briefly described my experience during my two visits to Philippines.
Hello nouveau,
I appreciate your experience and its common in cyberworld, not specific to Philippines alone. It happens in many countries. There are scammers everywhere, and I pity the genuine ones, as those with bad experience might thought the genuine ones are scammers too. Frankly, its difficult to tell the difference.
Wisely thinking, please look and re-look at online photos of the beautiful ones. If they are that pretty, do you think they would have ‘advertised’ themselves on the website. I believe if they are blessed with good looks, they would have many suitors by now and Philippines have many stable income and well-to-do men to marry them and have families. If they want to pursue life with foreigners, they could have gone through recommendations via reliable matchmaking agencies, relatives and friends, meet-in-person, meet-the-eye, and decide the chemistry. Why risk going online?? Being poor is not a good reason but scammers make it the reason for them to register and be part of whatever you called it. Pardon me if I say something wrong here.
In May and July 2009, I visited Cebu and provinces in Mindanao. What I witnessed were very much opposite of what I heard before I visited Philippines. To see is to believe. I have wonderful and everlasting memories of love and respect for the many people I met in Cebu, Cagayan De Oro, Tagoloan Misamis Oriental and Villanueva Misamis Oriental. I even have this brotherly-love feeling for the taxi driver who drove me around in Cayagan De Oro, whom I call ‘Kuya Boy’. I didn’t show-off my wealth, I didn’t show-off that I can afford anything, but yet these people give me their love and respect. Never believe any sad stories online and asking for money. You have to see with your own eyes that Filipinas are not beggars.
If foreigners are serious about relationships with Filipinas or women from any other countries, you have to meet the people in-person. NOT online unless reliable source such as registered matchmaking agencies with certified company registration numbers, addresses and telephone numbers of registered owners of such agencies. Perhaps, you may want to do a ‘google search’ on this.
Pardon me if I’m wrong with my thought.
Genalfie
4 Aug 2009
i really love your blog
Thanks sweet,
comments and advice welcome!
dp
I have a question for you. I too met a girl in a girlie bar and after talking with her for hours decided that I would meet with her when she wasn’t working. We went to the movies and talked again for hours on end. She told me some things about her peronal life (boyfriend, parents, school etc…) and seemed very sincere. I do not like bar fining girls because I feel that it is a debasing act not only for the girl but for me as well, so I would only go to the bar and buy ladies drinks which were few and far between because she would just sit and talk with me for hours. We met one last time away from her work and after talking for a good length of time things got hot and heavy and we ended up having sex. I had to leave that night so I got her email address and told her I would write. We have been in communication since then and I have talked to her at length about us. Since I am currently married she has stated, “We can’t be something more than just friends.”. She doesn’t want to be part of my life with my wife and kids because she doesn’t want to break up our family. But on the other hand she also stated, “I am not trying to say that I don’t like or want you, but this is not what I like.” She wants a serious relationship. Seems legit to me. I wouldn’t want to be second place in a relationship either. The one x-factor in this is that my wife is seeking seperation so I am not sure where this is going to end up. She is half my age, has probably been working at the bar for who knows how long. I am not sure whether I want to completely trust her yet or not. She tells me that she is 100% upfront about everything and I really have no reason not to believe her. I haven’t given her any money and she hasn’t asked for any yet either. I have told her maybe I should just walk away and she has replied, “You don’t have to walk away, we just need to take it easy.”. So I ask you, what do you think about this? Does it seem like something worth pursuing or has this been pretty standard for girls working a foreigner for “sponsorship” etc… Like I said I have not sent her money and she hasn’t asked for any either.
Hi Jack,
Pretty cool of her…
Since I am currently married she has stated, “We can’t be something more than just friends.”. She doesn’t want to be part of my life with my wife and kids because she doesn’t want to break up our family. But on the other hand she also stated, “I am not trying to say that I don’t like or want you, but this is not what I like.” She wants a serious relationship
…it’s a tough call, but some guys develop strong long term relationships with girls they met in the bars
She has some good advice:
…and she has replied, “You don’t have to walk away, we just need to take it easy.”
dp
Hi Dp
Can you give some more advice on dating a Filipina… ie what to expect from a Westerner’s perspective,
eg you mentioned Philipino’s are a group orientated society compared to western society more individual based.. which is interesting.
You also mention about mobile phones, my girl is on her mobile phone quite a lot, i have now asked her to check and respond to her phone every 2-3 hours rather than constantly checking and responding… I turn my phone on silent when i’m with her as a courtesy, i’m hoping asking her to check it every 2-3 hours is a good compromise..
i understand her group of friends is very important etc… what other insight can you provide from a westerner’s perspective… so i can see things from her perspective..
I also think my girl can be quite moody at times, for reasons unknown…
With regards
alpha
Well, this is quiet a good spot for those individual wanting to know more about filipina women. You see, Filipinas are best of everything. Filipinas are excellent care-givers(am not talking about the job). Resilient - we are not one to break down easily because we are supportive of each other. Family 1st - there are a lot of successful Filipinas worldwide. Some known for their accomplishments and there are those who are making waves but haven’t reached the news, but at the end of the day, Pinays know that family comes first and I dont believe that its because we’re in poverty that makes us practically do anything to get out in this country. You see everyone of us has its own reasons why.
Hello alpha,
Filipinos - boys and girls - are addicted to texting. There is nothing that takes priority over the phone, it’s just one of the things you have to get used to.
It will cause mental anguish if she is requested to “off” her phone.
Just for an example - I climbed Mt Apo with 4 Filipino college boys and it seemed the most important objective was finding peaks etc where we could get a signal.
We sat on top of the mountain texting - except for me because I couldn’t get a good Smart signal. That area uses Globe.
The Pilippines is the texting capitol of the world.
dp
Hi jyxz23,
All good points, for sure!
dp
Hey dp, wow what can i say maybe not wow but wowoweee, heheheh. I never met a Philippino educated or otherwise that didnot love that program. I never met one that watched the news and that is for sure.I tell a lie i did once. I love this country but it sure has its drawbacks ( like most countries) and the major one is that its ok for johnny foriegner to come here and spend his HARD earned pension and life saving but NO WAY is johnny foriegner ever ever going to own anything here. When the government ( that alone is a joke) says o sorry no johnny foriegner can own more than 40% of HIS OR HER business. O no johnny foriegner just has to pay for it all and sign it over to some Philippio. i got a one word answer to that . excuse the language but bollocks. as far as the guy or girl who said that most the nurses in the world are Philinppo !!!!!!!!! what planet do they come from. Even Philippino people would rather go to another country for an operation i am dam sure. Philippino have many many great attributes like has been said. hospitality second to none. Freindliness ( but hidden agenders) they are absoluty awesome at recycling. So please all you Philippino readers dont get on the high horse and all upperty. Johhny foriegner loves this country. BUT BUT BUT …………….
Hi dp. just a couple a things about what the lady said about nurses. There are around 180,000 Filipna nurses working around the world and i am very sorry to burst her bubble but there are 11 million nurses total . so unless my maths are not so good i reckon your calculation was wrong lady. I will agree with u on some points like Filipina make great nurses and caregivers. The problem is when a caregiver from Philippines goes to work abroad they are pretty underqualified in some cases as people here do a cut price deal for a certification. They do a few weeks study and wam bam heres ur papers. In the UK it takes many years to get full qualification as there are so many modules to complete. I am not saying all caregivers do this but some do. The other point was about the old people here not being put into old folks homes> heheheh u say they don’t do that here. Many be thats because A. u don’t have old folks homes and B. most people could not afford it anyways. Saying that i agree that here the family is more important than in the west. The so called first world countries could take a lots from this wonderful country and learn from it. But i am sorry to say that due to your government and not us foreigners voicing our opinions the majority of people think that the Philippines is not a safe place to travel and also its a great place to get ripped off due to the corruption. Thank your government for giving people this picture not us the expat. We love this country and thats why we live here. But if we wish to complain about it well thats our choice as its called freedom of speech. The lady who spoke about bad manners wow. U guys have never heard of queing. U bust in to a store and shout what u want and there maybe 3 people infront of u. U always want to be first on a plane and first off. U guys are in the aisles before the plane has landed. U guys sit poking the seat in front of u with no respect for the person sitting in the seat. When someone is talikng u just butt in with no ‘ excuse me’ so please dont even go there with manners. I have opened so many doors here for people and they dont even grunt .But on the other hand Philippino are very well mannered. they dont walk between people who are talking and they dont walk infront of the TV. The always offer food to visitors They can be so well mannered its puts other nations to shame BUT BUT BUT. You gotta love the Philippines.
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Hi!
I just come across this page but got interest here. I read some stories and they are close to reality.
Hope to be more updated here.
By the way, I am a filipina who had been looking for true love but had fallen. I know how other filipina feels and I also hear stories from foreign men.
Have a great day everyone!
Hi there, dutchpickle! Indeed,you’re so lucky you did found the waray girl of your life. Waray are the best!(heheh! love my own). I too is a waray from the province of Eastern Samar and is now an expatriate of Manila. Working for almost 4years in a BPO company. Youre absolutely right, character doesnt depend on educational attainment. It’s how a person were raised by the people who happen to be the parents. Talking about love/personal relationship, we people should not based attraction on educational attainment or how much money is he/she earning in a month instead we should look at the heart and intention of the person thats what really matters and nothing else. Life has its own twirls and turns and how we react to its consequences are what we called learning that is connected to living and loving. Standard education is just to enrich what we already have but in the end it is still the heart that decides the most crucial part of living. Hope to hear from other readers. :-) Cheers!
very interesting to read your comments. I wana share mine experience. I am a nature lower. Like forest, jungle, last year I was in Phills I climbed (with my gf of course) Mont Apo. The experience with my gf are really unique. She behave in the forest like a monkey, knowing where to go, how to climb the rock, showing eatable fruits. We went trough inside Camiguin and in the end we met some group of tourist with a Filipino guide. But I had no guide except my gf. I am proud of here, “she is a mother of all guides”. She spend a year in here young age with some rebel group and it is apparent from her behavior that it is true. (she don’t like speak about that anymore ..) So I wounder only why she does not work yet in some travel agency to guide rich tourist trough the forest…
I just cant believe the stupidity of so many men getting taken. I know of one guy who met a bar girl and within 45 minutes at the bar asked her to marry him. They are married and hes here in the states and she calls him bitching for more money all the time. Ive known my Filipina Fiance for 16 months visited PI twice shes in the province and she has never asked me for a dime. Her family feeds me well and ask for nothing only that i be a good husband to their daughter and take care of her and visit from time to time. Im astonished of all the terrible stories i hear are these guys looking for bad girls or what?
Dear dutchpickle,
I shot my praises a little too soon in this page, in Apr & Aug 2009. I got shot by a Cebuana! Thought it would not happen to me…but.. I’ve been shot. In my posting of Apr 2009, I met her in person, not online. I visited her and her entire family twice in May & Jul 2009. I’m not shy to share my experience being cheated. This is real and I want people to know that regardless online or known-in-person, I’ve been cheated by a Cebuana. I’m fortunate having friends in Cebu who care and helped me and my private detectives. Its painful but its over on 8 Dec 2009. I don’t have to write the full story here… too long.
Dutchpickle sir, I invite you and all visitors of this page to visit my friendster’s URL. When you are there, pls click the Album “Just 4 U”…. everything is there. I’ve very few friends in friendster, thus no prizes for guessing which Cebuana cheated me, disguising love for my money.
Sad episode of my life
Malfie
Hi Malfie,
…sorry the sad story, mate.
I hesitate to put the link because of invasion of privacy issues.
Just keep in mind that there are many happy endings too. Maybe give it another go with eyes wide open!
cheers
dp
Hi dutchpickle, sir
Thank you for your comforting words.
I’ve planned to setup an office in Jan 2010 for her to run the business for me there. We are in the 1st stage of building the ground floor of our house in Villanueva, pending me giving another P350k to complete the house with interior decor and furniture. Its a 2-storey house, land bought next to her nanay’s, manong’s & manang’s house. I also planned to expand the sari-sari store for her sister in Tagoloan Misamis Orienetal, which I setup in May 2009 (my 1st visit there). I pumped-in more capital during my 2nd visit in July 2009. I’ve planned to make it ‘bigger’ perhaps a grocery retail shop in Jan 2010 for her sister to run the business and be self-dependent. That should be the same time I planned to setup business office in Cebu.
Fortunately I found out earlier that she has a boyfriend, sleeping in the house that I paid the rent for her monthly at Sitio Manol, Tisa, Labangon. Sometimes, she would sleep in her boyfriend’s house at Singson Village, Mandaue.
I wouldn’t mind paying couple of thousand Pesos to my private detectives and seen with my own eyes, rather than losing hundreds thousands Pesos if my planned to setup the office business and expanding grocery retail shop executed!
Heard many such cheating stories of those meeting online. Never expect that it would happen to me since I got to know her in-person. Once beaten twice shy. Don’t know whether I will look for another Cebuana or Filipina again…
Sorry to share my sorrow here… but this is real and very expensive emotional and material experience to go through.
Looking forward to life without a Cheat!
Malfie
Hi Malfie,
Thanks for sharing your story and hopefully others will learn from it…
…unfortunate, but that is not a rare story. To be fair, many Filipinas come out on the loosing end of the relationship too.
I have always been afraid of internet romances because the parties on both sides are often just playing a game to see what they can get.
Good advice is not to invest money that you need for retirement, in the Philippines. It is not a logical business move anyways - you can not even own what you paid for and have no legal rights of recourse.
The wife/girlfriend can legally sell all your property if she is so inclined.Just spend money that you don’t need and look at is as a gift.
The Filipino tradition of “utang” (family and friends borrowing) must be looked at with a smile because that money will never come back. Just give what you can afford to loose.
Filipinas are the some of the finest girls in the world, but the story about the foreigner buying cars, motorcycles, homes and businesses for her husband or boyfriend are quite common.
better luck next time!
dp
Hi dp,
Thankyou for this forum, thought I would share my thoughts,
I have search on fh “filipina hearts” to find my true love as I heard it is a catholic country and there is many God fearing catholics there, they all say that they are God fearing and they do not believe in divorce, so why do they suffer for what they want, like the story of the bike, and they will not suffer for what their boyfriend wants, which is to have sacrifices in their lives, love is not purely emotions, to want to fulfil their desires only, it is sacrifices, I believe to be God fearing means to have fear of the Lord which is to not sin and to follow ALL of the teachings of God,
sorry but I had to mention this as this is my experiance,
I think it has many scammers in the philippines is because is a poor country and people hear of these scams also good people mix with the wrong crowd of people, I am from England, when I am asked what nationality I am, I say I am the Adams race as we all come from the first Adam, we are all loved by God even the scammers, I just hope they change their ways.
I have a filipino girlfriend, been with her for 18 months now, never met in person as of yet, I see her for few hours everyday on web cam,
her friend is a friend to a policeman, I have heard
of a story of the rape scam involving a police officer,
which makes me feel uneasy to visit her now, as we want to book a room in a hotel with a double bed,
if anyone has any advice I would appreciate it,
Thankyou to read my experiances,
Hello Justme,
I wouldn’t be too concerned about a rape scam - that is highly unlikely.
… however it is very possible that your internet girlfriend has a local boyfriend, maybe even that policeman that you are writing about.
Just move slowly and have a look around when you visit the Philippines. There are many beautiful and sweet filipinas that are interested in meeting foreigners for whatever reason - and many relationships work out well.
My caution is that there are many girls that just work the net for “boyfriends” and money - just as there are many foreigners that work the net for sex.
If you are interested in a long term relationship take your time. I do think that a visit to the Philippines is a good idea.
Good luck and let us know how things worked out, OK?
cheers
dp
Hi dp,
Thankyou for your advice,
I am concerned and think maybe you know more about the life and attidudes of the filipino culture when you say it is very possible for my internet girl to have a local boyfriend,
at first I have noticed a wedding ring on her wedding finger on her left hand, I asked her why, she explained by saying it was a gift from her sister for when she graduated, nothing more, just a gift, also she said that it is not a wedding ring, even it looks like one to me, so I tried to research and found that many filipinos like to wear their wedding ring on their right hand,
so my question would be, would a filipino wear a ring on their wedding finger on the left hand, even if they believe their wedding finger is on their right hand,
also she has never asked for any money from me, until around a year into our relationship, I have sent her money twice only so far, only 70 pounds in all, also she has always worked in an internet cafe, I have met her at all hours, I have seen on web cam that she is in the cafe, also I have heard her talking in tagalog to her customers, she also has to leave her chair while she helps her customers,
she also wants me to show her parts of my body as she has shown me on certain occassions, would she ask and do this if she was not truthful with me,
I do really like her very much and I would very much want this to work out well,
I have told her recently that when we are married and live here in the uk, that I could not send frequent money to her family as we have to care for our family,
she says it is okay with this decision as I have explained in more detail, I do hope she is true with me,
I hope you also someone from the philippines can give me any advice and let me know what they also think of this situation, sometimes we need someone elses views who knows of the culture,
Thankyou again for this forum,
Hello Justme,
At first glance it looks like you are off to a shaky start.
Just move slowly ok?
dp
Hey DP,
Im active duty and about 3 months ago went to angeles for fun. i left with a girlfriend, and after a few weeks things developed quickly and we fell in love i am ginualy in love with her. i am 21 and she is 25. we talk on the phone every moment that we have free she has not given me any reason not to trust her the dy we met she left the bar and she was jobless for 2 months. she didnt ask me for money until it was obvious she was running out. she has now found a new at a call center and she has asked for some more money till she gets her first check. now about a week and half before she gets her check she said that her purse was stolen and she was turning in some document to her job, like her passport birth certificate ect… she is asking for another 3000 php so she can get her passport done by an agency because she dosent have time to get it done. she did call as soon as it was stolen and it was obvious that she was talking to the police. she tells me about every guy she meets and if they ask her out or not. and she dosent go out with her friends if i dont go out with my friends and that dosent happen to often. and also when she asks for money its always a very difficult thing for her to talk about she dosent exactly come out and ask for it but it does start a fight and she said that this is the last time she will ask for money. she knows i dont have a lot of money. if she is cheating on me she must never sleep becuase we talk all the time. she seem very genuine but iv never dated a filipina before and dont know how good they are act acting. what do you think? thank you for you response.
Hello eric,
Move slowly mate!
…lot’s of danger signs are showing!
cheers
dp
I’ve been looking all over for an answer to this and this seems to be the best place to find it. I currently started speaking with a half filipina girl that lives in the U.S. We met online, but not on an asian dating site, on an “American” site like an eharmony style site. I have been talking with her for a few weeks now, and she has told me that she goes to college in the US and supports her mother and brother in the Philipines. Now then, i read that is fairly common, but my question is she wanted me to send some money to her brother for his 18th birthday and to email him to let him know it was from me. She said it was so that her family would begin to accept me and get to know me. Is this common practice for a boyfriend to send money to a family as a courtship gesture and to show that her family is important to him, or is she trying to get money from me. Since I sent the money she has asked again to help her brother buy an electronic device so that he can talk to us 3 way and learn about me, i’m a little reluctant to send anything this time, but more confused if she is just trying to work me.
Hello Richard,
It sounds as if your relationship is already based upon money being sent.
I give small gifts to the family of my girl at times and for sure on their birthday but I never gave any of them money. My girl has never asked that I give any of her family members money or gifts but I did help out her sister with medical bills (my call - and I live in the Philippines)
It is also possible that the “brother” is a boyfriend or husband of the girl that you are chatting with. (that is a common scenario!) The internet is a completely different reality often based on fantasy.
dp