Filipina girlfriend

Philippine girlfriend - observations only Filipinas can be some of the sweetest flowers on earth but if you make one angry there is no pit bull alive that can protect you. They can be the kindest loving partner you will ever find or can become your worst nightmare. This probably holds true with all girls but I am going to try my put a few tips here for guys that have not yet been to the Philippines and are planning to try to meet a Filipina. First lets take a look at the chat rooms on the internet. My feeling is that this is not the way to go. There is too much room for false impressions and total lies in these chat rooms (from both parties). Some girls work these chat rooms for a living, making a living on gullible guys that send them money. There have been cases where some of these "Filipinas" that are in fact big African men from Nigeria. There are many Filipinas that are diligently working the internet angle to score a foreigner that will get them out of their situation. Maybe they have a relationship or marriage that went bad and just want a way to support their kids. Some are single and ambitious and are looking for a Filipino boyfriend or a foreigner and love the mystique of searching online. There are success stories out there and many girls love it. For guys into chatting it's a way to introduce yourself to potential mates. I have met a few men that met their partner on line before coming to the Philippines. They got married here, built a fine house and business, made a few babies, then things went pear shaped and they split up and the wife got everything. In the Philippines your holdings must be in a Philippine national's name because a foreigner can not legally own a business or property. The foreigner must put up the money and find some local willing to put the real estate in their name where they have all the rights to sell, lease or whatever they choose to do with it. It seems rather risky to me. There are ways around it, by forming a corporation, but usually guys that do that are into bigger money than the average Joe. My gut feeling is that it is better to rent or lease your residence here and invest your money in countries where there is less risk and corruption. Title insurance and stuff like that do not have much teeth here. All the papers for the land you bought could well be fraudulent even if you got them personally from the land office. If you just want to build your wife/girlfriend a place on her family's land and have spare funds, why not? My advice is more for those that might not be in a financial position to take a hit or those that really plan to sink some serious cash into their project. Another twist is the internet porn sites that are actually illegal in the Philippines but are flourishing and difficult to locate and shut down. Many are protected by the local police and politicians so only outsiders will get burnt, more as a move to cut out the competition than any morality issue. Some see these sites as safe ways for girls to make money rather than actually working in the bars opening themselves up to sex for money, std's, pregnancy and creepy situations. Some of these encounters get very personal and the two develop a relationship and get together in real life. Who knows, if it works for you, go for it. Many guys from foreign lands come to the Philippines just for the purpose of having some fun and getting a short time girlfriend and then fall in love with a girl they met in the bar. This is much more common than one would think. Angeles City in Pampanga 3 hours north of Manila is the usually starting point. International flights are increasing to Clark Field where Angeles City is located. It used to be a US airbase but after the Americans lost their lease it has become an international trade zone and the girlie bars remain. Fields Avenue, the main strip, is getting more developed with quality international hotels and an endless string of bars. Angeles used to have character but is becoming more boring in recent years in my opinion. Angeles City is an all night party zone attracting an older crowd of retirees and a mixed bag of others. There is not much going on during the day but SM mall sprung up a few years ago and it's a pleasant place to eat and get out of the heat and into an air conditioned environment. Many of these girls, known as "cherry girls" are fresh in from the provinces and are not available for take out. Others often are juggling a few foreign boyfriends who send money for her and her real Filipino boyfriend to enjoy. The tricycle drivers there are on the game too. They are very charming and convincing and have time and cultural identity on their side. Some foreign men don't really care and are just in the Philippines for fun but others get crushed when they find out what is going on. The flip side of that coin is that a lot of these girls are genuinely looking for a life partner and will give it their everything and are equally crushed when the foreigner moves on. In either scenario the person can get hardened to giving their heart away again. Surprisingly, there are a lot of success stories that come out of Angeles. People in general get lonely and want to have a partner in life. Another option to finding a mate is to just to travel around the Philippines, go to the malls, markets and talk to everyone you meet along the way. For me this is the most interesting method but not everyone has the free time on their hands to do it. Just be aware these girls require a lot of attention and if you come up short, someone else will fill the gap. A common scenario is that the foreigner ends up supporting his "girlfriend" and her local boyfriend. One girl I met had a new house, compliments of her foreign boyfriend, but changed her local boyfriend every month. She really  took good care of those boys and they all wore designer clothing and had new cell phones. It just depends on what you are looking for. This page is geared more to those looking for a steady partner rather than a party. A lot of what you get will depend on what you are willing to put into the relationship. If you show respect and consideration to your potential girlfriend, you are off to a good start. Many of these girls really are looking for a partner to share their life with, but use caution. There is no need to jump in straight away and get married. Below are a few pointers that might come in handy: -------------------- 1)  Cell phones - This is the most useful tool available to begin romance. Girls on the bus, boat, train, plane or just walking around in the mall will be easy to approach and will freely give out their number. Some guys even have a business card with their number on it that they can pass out. A Filipina will drop everything to answer a text from some one they do not even know because the curiosity is just too great. I find phones of any type to be a nuisance but in the Philippines they are a necessary evil. The Philippines is the texting capitol of the world (seriously) One note of caution is that you will constantly be bugged for a "load" (pre-paid minutes) if you do give out your number. The model of cell phone that you carry is also a status symbol. You can live in a grass shack but if you have a cell phone camera with an mp3 - u d man!!!! note - No matter how much money you give her, she will not buy her own load (pre-paid minutes) . Just go and buy it when you pass a sari sari store. ---------------------- 2) Age - Age doesn't seem as important in Asia as it is in the west. Cleanliness and politeness go a long ways here. If you do hook up with a local girl you will be the one to take everyone out to eat etc and of course - foot the bill. Keep in mind that if you choose to have a girlfriend much younger than yourself you will need to have patience because she will have a different style than you do. Allow for that. If she is a big partier it will probably not work out. (If you are just out for the party, don't lead the girl on because there are plenty of party girls available.) It is a good idea to meet the family of the girl that you are going out with if you are serious about her. Sometimes this might involve making a trip to the province (in the outback) but it can be an enjoyable and fun experience. Be sure bring along some food for everyone. You don't want to be a burden to the family. suggestions: rice lechon baboy - roast pig by the kilo or whole. If you want to make a splash buy a whole pig and pay someone to roast it. (3,000 to 4,000 pesos depending on size) noddle packs - they come 40 or 80 to the box coffee - they aren't big coffee drinkers, but you might be! oranges - ponkan - in season 4 to 5 pesos each in Cebu City hard mangos - by the kilo soap cooking oil flashlight batteries candles If you are getting serious about the relationship mp3 player cell phone for mom shirts for the brothers and sisters electric fan NOTE - The importance of rice can not be overstated. Meat, potatos, lechon, fish, or anything else does not count as food if theye is no rice. ------------------------ 3) Friendster Almost all Filipinas have a friendster page. It's worth setting one up. ------------------------ 4) Yahoo web cam These things drive me nuts but the Filipinas are passionate about them. If you are into it these are a great idea. ------------------------ 5) About being social... a) In Asia and the Philippines superficial things can be very important in establishing one's social standing. As mentioned above - cell phone model is crucial if you play that game. b) Where you stay. Do you need an expensive 3 star place. (This one always gives me a chuckle because many of these girls come from shacks in the province and try to make a big impression by staying at a 50 to 75 USD night place with their "boyfriend". I don't play that game because I am frugal, or a "Cheap Charlie", and have no intention on keeping up a lifestyle that I don't care for. Do what is right for you. If you are only here for 3 or 4 weeks why not spend 50 dollars a night. For me I can take that 1,500 a month and rent a great place for a year. After you have been here for a while you start to think in pesos and your money goes a long way. It is possible to throw money around and be the hero if that is your style, but once you start doing that the family will expect you to come to the rescue whenever a minor "emergency" occurs. c) Mode of transport - Most new arrivals will not have their own vehicle because it takes time to register them and get a license. V-hires or rented private vans will impress the family. Taxis are another way to go and still preserve your status. Jeepneys and buses are for the masses. I like riding on the roofs of those jeepneys. caution- in the cities beware of pickpockets and specialists with slitting your pockets and bum bag with a razor and removing the contents. They are good and might get you even if you are street smart. The thieves work in teams and it can get very crowded on those jeepneys! d) Clothes - Brand names show that you are indeed "cool". e) Gold jewelery - Don't bother with anything else. Gold is huge (but expensive). f) Buying or building a house - As mentioned above, don't invest more than you can afford to loose. My only suggestion is to look around a bit before leaping! Just keep in mind that even if you are in the right, legally, the wheels of justice turn slowly here and can be slowed down even more if your adversary is willing to spend a little cash. -------------------------- 6) Allow for moodiness Probably women worldwide get moody, but I think Filipinas can go to extremes. Maybe your girl won't talk to you or is very upset about something you did. If you ask what the problem is she will just say "Nothing!" I guarantee that response. These girls can put up with an amazing amount of discomfort or just plain pain if they have an objective. For example a friend of my girlfriend wanted to go home in the province 59 kilometers one way in very harsh conditions. She sat on the steel extension on the back of my bike for 6 hours without complaining. (I had 3 passengers) She had to be sore.  I was. 4 times they had to get off and walk while I climbed some very rough steep road. I had a good time and so did they without complaining. It might not have been so smooth if we were planning to visit a friend of mine! -------------------------- 7) Music - Filipinas are music lovers. Make sure she has music, especially in places where there is no signal for the cell phone. Trust me! -------------------------- 8) Sing Karaoke - even if you suck! No one cares, just make up for poor quality with volume and every one will praise you. You might even get addicted to singing and start hogging the mike! ------------------------- 9) Avoid Red Horse - That is a local beer that packs a punch. I don't know the alcohol content but it has a reputation for making drinkers go crazy. -------------------------- 10) TV - There is a chance that your girl won't speak English well enough to watch a news program like CNN and understand what is happening. Shows like Wow Wowie and other slapstick style shows are a huge hit with the all Filipinas. Just deal with it by watching a quick news wrap up and then give her the channel changer. -------------------------- 11) Internet cafes - If you are in Angeles City you will see wankers checking their email for hours with their "girlfriend" loyally sitting in a chair alongside just waiting till the guy logs off. Most of these girls know how to use the internet so I suggest paying for another terminal and letting her chat with her friends while you are busy. You will make her life miserable if you have to control every aspect of it. They will have chat mates that are guys but that is to be expected. It doesn't mean that they are "cheating" on you. It could go that way if you don't show her enough attention but you can't spend every waking moment holding your girl on a leash like a dog because no one will be happy. (At least that's not my style but I have lost quite a few girlfriends along the way - I shouldn't even be writing dating tips.) ---------------------------- 12) Menstration - These girls are not shy about talking about their "mens" and it will often be used as a reason not to do some things. I am not talking about sex here but just normal day to day activities that don't seem like would be a problem. Out in the provinces they have some superstitions that can seem bizarre, but if you are brought up with these ideas they seem factual enough. --------------------------- 13) Filipina girls are sentimental Little things go a long way. Stuffed teddy bears and chocolates are importand gifts to show that she is always on your mind. Don't forget birthdays and anniversaries! ---------------------------- 14) Taking her Home! Ok you found her and she is coming home with you to the good old USA, Down Under, or some place in Europe. I have never done this but imagine that the girl will get very lonely if she doesn't have a group of friends that she can be with. I think that it will go downhill if she just hangs around with bargirls from back home. There was a commercial pilot that married a real cutie that he found in Angeles City. She was a delight to the heart and eyes but when he got her "home" she had no friends to be with and spent a lot of time eating and watching tv. She looked like a different girl in less than a year. I don't know how it turned out. The Filipinas grew up in a very social environment. Unlike in the west, where individualism is encouraged, they are a group oriented society. They usually do not enjoy doing things on their own and it will take the westerner a while to get used to that style. Have a look at friendster - most of the shots are group photos, rarely are there landscape or scenery pics. Legal hassles in bringing your Filipina girlfriend or wife home. This is going to take a bit of work and will probably not be resolved with one trip to the embassy. Be prepared to do a lot of paperwork and face a lot of frustration. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ True Filipina girlfriend stories Though some of the stories will appear to be fiction, I am quite certain they are very close to the truth except for the names. -------------------------- Case #1 From Cebu - There was a young Filipina in her prime, like a flower, so sweet and tender and lovely. She was a delight to the heart and soul. She fell deeply in love with a local boy. Her family disapproved because she was a hot commodity and they felt she could easily snare a wealthy foreigner and get the entire family on the gravy train. The young man had no education or any real prospects other than driving people around on his tricycle but he was sharp and really loved that girl. He would sneak over to her house to talk and flirt until one day he was shot in the back and died on the spot. Her father was said to be the instigator that paid the fellow from Negros to kill that young man because he couldn't stand the idea that she didn't want a foreigner (with a lot of money). The case is still in court. I know the young man's cousin quite well. It is a story with a sad ending. -------------------------- Case #2 There was a fellow from a western country that met his betrothed on the internet. They were to be soul mates in the business he had planned. It struck me that she dressed rather unusually for a common country girl. She was hot and had style and could dance beautifully. Her pants always hung low so you could see the top of her panties. Seductive, yes, but most Filipinas are very conservative about the way they look in public. To me that was clue number one that something was odd. The money that he had sent her to remodel the house was well spent and the place looked good but the old boy wasn't allowed to stay there. There had been a recent conversion to Islam by the delightful young ladies "brother" and he disapproved. Supposedly the "husband" was a drug addict and could no longer be contacted. This seemed like a common script to me and someone suggested that she might still have a husband or two. In fact my own little darling was shown a picture of the father to at least one of her several children. I got to thinking that that the recently converted brother might well be the husband and just didn't want the wife's boyfriend at the house. He didn't mind the extra income but perhaps he wanted the house to himself. Often the real "husband" can not be located and as long as the paper work never finalized a proper wedding a singleness paper can be provided for future marriage purposes. It's not really all that complicated. The westerner had a shake program too so I chose to remain on the sidelines. I try not to get involved with things that do not concern me. It seemed that he had her conned into believing that he was a major player. Whatever - it goes both ways - especially where the internet is concerned. False impressions and outright lies are common from both parties. It still remains to be seen how this one ends up. ------------------------- Case #3 This is the story of another internet love connection that proved to be rather costly in the end. A retired fellow met his true love on the internet. As with most ,the betrothed had several children with different fathers already but she was just looking for a foreigner that loved her.  "Filipino men are no good" was part of her script too. A lot of this bs (bula bula) seems to follow a set pattern. "Wally" was a player and enjoyed construction, so he decided to build her a 5 bedroom house with 3 cr's (comfort rooms - bathrooms) in a nice suburb of Cebu. They had a child and sealed the pact. Wally got a bit bored and decided to build a resort. Wally did have a weakness for women and his darling became aware of the indiscretion. She went on the warpath and devotes every minute of every day trying to make Wally miserable. A Filipina that has been wronged is a dangerous animal - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Anyway she had the papers for the properties in her personal safe for safekeeping. BUT we all hear that the Philippines is so dangerous and sure enough someone broke in and stole all the paperwork. Somehow when the replacement papers were issued, Wally's name did not appear on anything. Perhaps Mrs Wally had a cousin in the land office or something. Just be aware that this sort of thing is easy to do in this country. Just because there is a piece of paper, it doesn't mean anything. Read my page about investing in the Philippines. Using a well planned skit and a connection in the police deptartment,Mrs Wally was able to get a restraining order on Wally. He was not permitted to see his kid or come within 100 meters of the property. Almost weekly there is a new complaint filed with the police dept. She has taken over the pension that Wally gets somehow. Wally seems content to move on with his life but it will be interesting to see how this one turns out. He really does care for the kid and wants to have a financial future for the little guy. It looks like Mrs. Wally will get all the benefits however. ------------------------------ Case #4 Big Jimbo This is a tale of true love that took a while to develop. Big Jimbo actually met his wife while she was working in California. She was an older girl and Jimbo was in his 60's. He had been married 4 times already and just married the girl to help her stay in the US and work. She was a clever woman and they set up care facilities for the elderly. Jimbo was a player and handled the construction and realestate. They made a team. She had a big web of connections with Filipinas in the health care field and together they were very successful in their endevor. This guy got stuff done fast in the Philippines too. He put up nice houses quickly and got the kids to run a multi-cab business. Big Jimbo and Mrs Jimbo were content to spend countless hours talking and playing cards together and over the years they built a strong loving relationshp. Sadly Mrs. Jimbo developed a serious case of cancer that did not look curable. Big Jimbo told me that he spent the finest years of his life with that woman. --------------------------------- Case # 5 There was a young las from one of the small islands in Maqueda Bay that went to mine for gold in the girlie bars up north near Clark Field. She was a sweet young thing and became close to a nice Sugar Daddy that decided to spring for a nice house in her home province so that she could get out of the bar. It was a nice place and she lived happily everafter with a new Filipino boyfriend every month. These boys always had nice new clothes and the latest cell phone. She shared her Sugar Daddy's generous spirit. True story. ----------------------------------      to be continued...    2008   www.dutchpickle.com

 

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